Heya...the topic is french for "It's too late!" Lotsa things are done way too late, then people regret. And regret. But what can you do but stare, gape and wonder "Why?" A silenced scream of anguish. The regret for things long past. But what are you going to do? C'est trop tard! Tout est trop tard!
What did i do too late? Today i FINALLY got my ingrown toenail removed....got to book out too...Sgt Lance followed me...cursed me all the way because he was the COS yesterday and got like zero sleep...but he was thankful for the bookout...finally saw that he too has a nice side...likes to talk cock too...and tried to psycho me to go SISPEC...i told him that...i will go and meet my destiny lor...he was like...aiya ok lor. But hey you see a side of him you don't normally see...have to remind myself that he'll become this maniac during field camp...but i think there's a good side to everyone...just that removing the toenail has given me this HUGE wrapped-up bandage and the postponement of my live range until March. Didn't hurt like shit, but it wasn't badly infected anyway! What the hell. And my live range. Fucking MARCH. Sgt Lance said, 'haha, got another day to slack' because he has to follow me to the range...but i'm attached to another company...i'll know no-one excluding my sergeant...personally, it sucks. I could've cut the nail earlier, but i didn't want to. For what, i don't know. Perhaps i'll explain later. Because the toenail was already ingrown waaaaay back, i could've done it way earlier! C'est trop tard! I only got it done because i didn't want it to affect my field camp...at the rate things are going, it may anyway. OOC isn't fun. it's fuck. gonna die...
Next. Got home to discover my grandmother passed away...i think she collapsed about last afternoon but i donno about the details...only found out today...C'est trop tard AGAIN! got over there to see...rigor mortis. And if you've never experienced death up close, it smells of shit. I swear. Applied for compassionate leave outside of my medical leave. It's the terrible empty feeling in the pit of your stomach which makes you really, really sick deep down...knowing that she's gone but not willing to admit it...and then the silent, fervent prayer that at least your beloved are at your side on your deathbed...I donno what 1WO Karna's gonna think. That i'm a bloody slacker? Slack, my foot. But i may book in tml night. Considering how i'm gonna miss range, i don't see the sense in that...would rather be useful than useless...you can use my toe as a bloody club now...I don't know what's gonna happen when i change the bandage on Friday, either at Tekong medical centre or outside...probably the toe will drop out with me screaming bloody murder. Geez. Really donno.
I'm just praying that for the remainder of BMT, my nail grows properly without giving me anymore fucking ingrown problems. If i OOC, i swear the first thing i'll do is destroy the nail base...so I'll never have a nail there anymore...disgusting? you best. but permanent? That's another pro. Hope, wait and see. When things are this bad, they can only get better...? That's another question
There's a part about fate i said earlier right...I guess Jiayi cancelled with me on Valentine's for a reason...as i booked out to get my toenail done today...Just so that i can be there to see my gramma's prone body...um das letzte Abschied nehmen zu können...just a few muted words, mouthed deep in your very soul, and a silent prayer to whomsoever may be listening...to pray for a better existence elsewhere...merci to all my friends who've been lending me their support...i'd do it for you.
C'est la vie. But when life is fucked-up? you feel like a damn jibai lor! hai...
posted by quatscherei @ 22:02
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