Sunday, April 25, 2004

OCS Delta Wing Platoon 03 | Was heisst Leben?

As you all must have seen now i undertook a 21-day hiatus...3-week confinement in OCS what...not really la, got to book out on Good Friday...that's about it! *sigh* xiong hor? Ok la. It seems as though 3 months have passed. Goodness. What's OCS like, you all must be asking...OCS is xiong. The focus is on discipline during Tri-Service Term now...which means strictly adhering to all orders and yes the slightest error gets punished...it wasn't so bad when we were freshmen (i.e. we still had our lanyards on) but now they're off and i guess we'll have to adapt somehow! A mistake committed the first time is a lesson learnt, twice however a crime...so they don't take too kindly to pple who keep repeating them??

In there, everyone's the best - i wonder myself how i got in. But still that's how things are and i can't do anything to change it. My friends have said i've changed - indeed now i'm much quieter and the bullshit has dropped by 50% or more. They think i'm under stress - yes i am but not to the extent which you believe okay? i'm not on the verge of losing it...its just that...the environment there is not for talking cock and bullshit so...man hat sich davon abgewöhnt...and yes its a bit sad that i can't be the life of all conversations in the future, just only be contributing some laughter and nonsense not so much as before, but i guess all change happens sometimes and maybe its for the better?

I'm dead tired. In any unit in SAF, Armskoteman = Fatigue Sai Kang...simple formula isn't it? Yes its really that simple. If lights out is at 2230 we can expect to be asleep by midnight. If we draw arms at 0530 we can expect to be up and about at 0445. how much sleep is that in between? you don't need to be an expert in math or human physiology to see that we're overworked and at the risk of burning ourselves out. it's stressful too because if we don't go around squeezing all the triggers and someone discoveres an unsqueezed trigger we're gonna get it...as in...confinements...and that's like the worst thing which happens weil die Freiheit uns so wichtig ist...i'm sure you all get my drift...

And 3 weeks in camp has done something to my bowling. i suck now. my average has dropped to about 90 because of 2 weeks of non-bowling. Kelvin and Reuben have been helpful but i guess manchmal zu viel Unterhaltung wird man auf den Nerven gehen? No idea la. Just too frustrated at my own (under)performance yesterday. Either i can't get the ball to hook or it over-hooks. Today i went and tried again and its somewhat better i can get hooking more consistently but its still not there...got a high game today though...135. =P and also upped the average to 100. Kelvin says there'll be intensive training on Friday/Saturday because of the Mayday long weekend...I don't mind...at cine ah. On ah. but Friday night is cosmic bowling...nvm la...we do it with style...who said you need fluorescent balls? a black mass steamrolling glowing pins achieves a similiar effect for me thank you very much. It has to do with pride, honour and glory. if you can achieve what you want the pride is yours. Honour will be accredited you by your peers. Glory follows naturally.

Also had this parents' visit. It worked wonders for me but i was so sad to see them go...i know guys my age are supposed to be gung-ho with their brothers and NOT their family...but still...for once i really didn't want to see them go. Maybe it was because of going back to training. But i guess it was more because for once i missed them. It's really difficult to have them come and say hi to you, give you their tonics, buy you stuff from outside, then just go again. 4 1/2 hours just isn't enough. And what's more like all pub stunts, OCS shows the parents what they want them to see...We had a standby bed and universe before the parents' visit...that says something, non? But i guess i figured something out...may be a driving force for me in ocs...its like. they're here to see your training and their prescence reminds you of what you are supposed to defend with your life's blood...i don't know. Maybe it'll change me enough. Come what may, i'll do my best to pull through and get my bar on the shoulder.

TST is finishing soon!

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