Hallo ihr alle da draussen, finally we have over here a great weekend with absolutely beautiful weather. Azure blue skies with white wisps and also the Sun blessing us in all her glory. Compared to the thunderstorms and dark clouds we've been seeing over the past few days which have plagued EAGLE and ordinary training, unter anderem. So finally i wore something which resembled beach wear to the alley. Finally as in...i haven't done something like that in bloody ages, ahaha...yeah and also visited an alley which i haven't been to since like last December...Plaza Bowl at the Textile Centre. It's this really old alley but the mood is there and the lanes are great to play on...my Scout works wonders on those conditions...ahaha...more and more incentive to get another ball soon.
I'm becoming very poor but yet i'm considering buying a set of speakers next weekend when i book out, because the Hi-Fi in my room is really gone and i was thinking of switching to my Discman as a media center...you know, buy a set of really good speakers and then plug my Discman into them to play music...sure beats using the headphones at home and then when you want to go out, just insert a battery, grab your headphones and los geht's...more useful than a Hi-Fi i guess because now we got mobility...
I think i'm listening to too much music...Got Stronger by Kate Ryan...her newest album which reached our shores about 4 months after Europe...what to say? There still are tracks which aren't very good listening but her music has matured...it's not all dance-techno anymore...and there are some which, although very dancey, make for good listening too! In case you don't know, i'm not a techno freak because i don't listen to techno purely. I don't have any dance/techno CDs in my collection although the collection is very very wide indeed...Save up lor! Planning to get Within Temptation's new album, Wir Sind Helden and maybe also Rosenstolz...at the rate things are going i think i will need a CD tray soon here at my house. hahaha...sounds so crazy but it's true...wonder how i'm gonna carry them into Germany when i go to study. *sigh*...Also in some kinda conflict now if i'm actually neglecting someone's feelings or if i am neglected. It's really confusing, because i've been trying to ask her out for many weekends liao..and just so that it's clear, i'm not attracted to her in anyway so yeah here goes...so she's been really busy and she finally agreed to meet me last night. Then yesterday morning she messaged me saying she had to meet this friend from 1600-2000....so would i be free for supper? I said 'yea well i should be' and so it was settled...Then K comes and tells me that she thought i was kinda pissed...actually i wasn't yet you know. I thought...wah...she's quite sensitive to how i feel huh...but maybe a bit over-sensitive. I can't blame her. Long have i complained about people making then breaking dates. Later around 2020, when i was with horz at Orchard MRT wondering what to do she messaged me to tell me that she wouldn't be able to make it. I didn't know then whether to feel pissed or not. Thing is that i didn't. Amazing, given how i've been going on about anger management and all that huh? I was pretty cool about it and even saw going home early as a plus point. Really, it is...wanted to listen to Kate Ryan anyway. So i thought about it, made a mental note to myself and enjoyed a night at home.
This morning i messaged her. That i wouldn't be trying to ask her out anymore because she wouldn't be free, that she couldn't treat her friends for granted like that anymore, that she was becoming too busy that she had to make so many sacrifices. She messaged back saying that perhaps she needed more understanding friends. Woah, kena stun. I really didn't know how to react after that.
And if you ever read this, this is for you. You know who you are and i'm really sorry that things came to that...it's not that i don't try to understand you. I'll admit that i can be quite impatient at times but i myself cannot comprehend why you simply have to be just so busy at times! That you can give up meeting your friends to talk, to catch up; maybe it IS awkward for you, maybe you'll think that we won't have things to say; maybe your idea of fun is a large group of people but my idea differs too. I find more quality time talking to one person than to many because you know what happens when many people meet up. We just split up into Army group and the girls and then...nothing much happens. And so many people would rather see their books than see their friends. Maybe that's the pros of coming from a good JC going into university. Mugging slowly dominates your entire life and being and existence. Maybe that's why NS is good. It taught me to enjoy the finer things in life. You don't have to run around all day to be happy and satisfied! Sitting around at home reading or listening to music or sleeping it off or just eating with your parents can be equally satisfying. Learnt not to neglect your friends because ultimately they're part of you too and the worst part is that you can see how you grow closer to your Army buddies but all your friends in university drift slowly slowly away and you can't do anything about it. Others don't feel it because they are right smack in the middle of it.
Ultimately, welcome to the real world, i suppose. Welcome to the adult world, which university is supposed to be the gateway to. Right now i can see all of us just buried in work, working for money, status, job positions, and everything material. They are right when they say that the working world is absolutely soulless. For those who agreed to meet up, Nicole, Kah Yee, Ween and friends who went to meet us that afternoon, i thank you. For you, Gladys mei, Tar, and others who have to study, have other commitments and have to sacrifice, i'm sorry. Sorry for all this and sorry for you too.
Wishlist!
1. Speakers
2. Digital Camera!
3. X-Factor Ace
4. Within Temptation's The Silent Force
5. Commissioning!
6. Survive BATTLE KING in one piece
posted by quatscherei @ 14:20
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