I just want to kill them! Hahaha...okay lah...i guess our OCS instructors at Delta Wing must have felt the same way when they first saw us botaks at the parade square. They must've thought...
'stupid recruits. Don't know what it takes to be an officer. I will show them 01 x good one...'
I felt quite like that also. They seem to be really at a loss as to what remains to be done. Dumb maggots. They feel at a loss as to whether they should salute officers. They nod off during class. They can leave their bunk doors wide open when no one's there (i was very tempted to steal a SBO) with all the lights on in bloody broad daylight. They take notes studiously in class.
All of a sudden, 24 SA feels like some junior college again.
Everyone says i'm going to be this evil dude who's going to kill all of these poor maggots. I will not...yet. Wait for deployment drill to come and maybe FIREBALL. Then i will kill them good. I better loh. They're fighting FATEP with me leh! So better not fool around. Nor can i afford to be too friendly with them...you can't work with friends when it comes to a chain of command because all those fuckers will start to climb over your head. And once they do...then...it's good luck for you...so...
1. I will not befriend my men too personally.
2. I will care for their welfare.
3. I will be strict and objective, especially when training starts (overseas is another issue)
Schlechtes Gewissen is German for a bad conscience...which i currently have...because of an error i made last night...i told ween to call me last night at about 0020...when i was listening to Class 95...then i promptly fell asleep...i had a light dream where i heard Inner Smile from Texas playing again and again...but it wasn't until melvyn said 'What the fuck turn off the phone' that i realised....
My phone was ringing.
Guo-Liang managed to turn off the phone but i knew it was her...i called her and she sounded so so apologetic that i was sleeping...after that, i felt rotten that i woke melvyn. And i was a tad mad at ween because she called at a very inappropraite time...then i checked myself.
I asked her to call and not vice versa.
So what was there to be angry about? Nothing, i guess. Sorry, ween!
I'm dead tired and maybe a little sunburnt, but definitely darker today. Went to the gym yesterday and today...trained in supersets so that my chest and back feel like they've taken a beating...and then i went swimming today under the blazing noon Sun. Suffering? Not! A bit lah especially the afternoon after that when i was just dying from fatigue...struggling to keep my leaden eyelids open...But i must admit that it's fun to be finally under all that sunshine, swimming. Add that to lying in the sun like a snake trying to warm itself up...
So how do i feel now, you ask? Uh...quite well-done. Haha.
Ich sehne mich nach Europa! Suddenly i want to go back...i want to go back to Haiterbach and live that simple life. I want to go back to Berlin. I want to go back to Venice! I think i left my heart somewhere in the heart of Europe itself...and i don't know when i'll find it back...The moment when i stood on the clock tower on Burano, as the bells went off...the moment when i went up the Radioturm am Alexanderplatz, the evenings in that quaint little bungalow in Haiterbach, running through the pigeons at Piazza San Marco...sigh...i want to re-live them...but...time doesn't turn around and all i have now are memories, pictures which i keep deep within me for me to cherish forever.
Bilder von Dir überdauern bis in alle Zeit
Bilder von Dir überdauern bis in die Ewigkeit...~Laith Al-Deen - Bilder von Dir
posted by quatscherei @ 20:48
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