Jahresrückblick 2005 Teil 3
Es ist Juli. I thought it would pass in peace. Little did I know…It all kicked off with the LEPer outing to Sentosa! Woot…got myself healthily tanned, lying on the sand with heidi, maybe and taryn…the remnants of the once 6-strong Leper Kolonie…but what a great time we had! I certainly had fun cycling with them (although there were many near misses…) and I’m really impressed and thankful that we can still meet up and talk rots for one whole day on end! I mean…I could never do that with my class anymore…somehow, either I expected things to stay the same or my ex-classmates expected things to stay the same – but we’ve all moved on…whereas among the 4 of us, all of us have moved on…there isn’t like any great expectations at all…
Maybe it was because the times I shared with my class were, like, fast perfekt whereas there was a long, rocky stretch between me and my LEP friends. Maybe that’s why I learned not to take them for granted. Maybe. Who knows? Oh…our Europareise was a trip of learning for me, personally as well as intellectually. And guess what? They taught me all of those. I donno if they learned anything from me, however. It’s sad that all we have now are just pictures. Memories. But still.
Bilder von Dir überdauern bis in alle Zeit
Bilder von Dir überdauern bis in die Ewigkeit…
There was also ACF…Army Commanders’ Forum…which all specialists and officers were required to attend. What can I say? It was ultimately boring, (sorry COA! Sorry, captain goh!) but I didn’t mind lunch with kingston & anthony…and certainly not a free dinner courtesy of ex-boss…promotion treat, it was…and we had seafood! OMGWTF! HAHAHA. Captain francis is just godly. He can just spring a treat on all of us. And encik hoo too…hahaha…he is one who really fits the title of encik, which is Malay for uncle, for the uninitiated… (Army slang : a term for addressing senior NCOs.) Because he is really damn uncle! He takes care of us like we’re his favourite nephews (ha, ha,) can be really an ass at times but who gets things done no matter what, and also…haha…you should see the way he kajiaos the waitresses at restaurants.
…now the cynics they will wonder, what’s the difference with this dream?
and the dreams of countless others all believing in TV
you see the handprints on the sidewalk
flashing cameras on the scene
and a shining limousine…
July and August also saw me and my guys preparing for the NDP Carnival @ Marina South…a period of great disillusionment for me because the preparation phase was something which I felt was totally farcical. I was just a stand-in for king, but somehow I ended up doing every jack shit. That really pissed me off because I felt totally used but powerless. After all, I only wore 1 bar upon my shoulders, yes? And that means that I had no authority whatsoever…sigh. The Army was becoming a place which I felt was totally fake, and totally different from whatever I expected it to be as an officer, as a cadet. I suddenly became acutely aware of how important scoring points was. You score points for your boss, and it goes up and up and even the entire Army must score points with the public. Sigh. At this point of time, all thoughts of signing on with the Army evaporated. And to think I’m going to sign on with the SCDF. Goodness. I hope it’s better. But then, I guess brown-nosing and point-scoring exists every-fucking-where and I’ll have to live it, no matter how I detest it, or how disillusioned it makes me. I just didn’t expect it in a military organization. I thought we had more important things to do.
…now her mother collects cutouts, and the pictures make her smile
but if she saw behind the curtains, it could only make her cry
she’s got handprints on her body
sad moonbeams in those eyes
not so innocent a child…
August also saw the new cadets at TA Phase (I didn’t touch them much because of my maggoty NDP commitments) and BATTLE KING, which lasted half of September as well. More on that later. August also saw the GSI Inspection…when individual units go through a lot of stuff which I could never approve of. Sigh. The difference between NSFs and regulars. Their careers are at stake…but that doesn’t mean they can be so fucking unreasonable and change things TIME AND TIME AGAIN just to suit any particular whim of his! That was when I saw that ranger wasn’t exactly some model officer. He’ll probably only be able to thrive in the Army, where a rank and punishment system exists – not outside. He only sees what’s good for himself – I wonder if he gave 2 fucks about what his people felt. Even all the BCs had to stay back and work OT just to please him. Jeez.
Lucky captain francis was in post-out mood…so one evening, he announced loudly that he wasn’t gonna work no more and then dragged mel and myself out for some sakae sushi.
My ex-boss is amazing. I just felt I’d say it again.
Anyway, coming back to BATTLE KING. It was a huge learning experience for me – I felt like I learned as much as, if not more than, the cadets. Going with boss was really a plus point, because he taught me so much about the radar which I never knew – especially of radar theory and comms procedures. I came back feeling like a fucking guru and taught melvyn all I had gleaned. The downside of it was, well, me picking up the butts. It’s a horrible habit and sometimes I feel really guilty – but sometimes I feel that you’re only young once. Swinging from extreme to extreme…it’s like after NZ, I’ll not smoke anymore but…if you see me out drinking or whatever to do with entertainment, don’t be surprised to see me light up. Enjoyment should be so! Sigh. I really donno…the break between ORD and studying should be a good test if I can really stay like that. If I can, good. If not, then I think I’m in shit.
And at the end of BATTLE KING, I think boss got cheated by someone’s performance that he chose him to come to battery line. A heinous crime, in my opinion, but he’s the boss! Hopefully he’s woke up and smelt the rubbish. Sigh.
September also saw me taking my section out for FATEP training, basically, deployment drills…it left me feeling all cadet-ish again which was good…I really loved deploying with my guys…finally it was a time when we could hone our skills and, at the same time, exercise ground command and control. I must say I really had some honest good fun, and the individual sections used the time to gel and bond well. I was proud to be their section commander and I certainly hope they were proud to serve under me. Going through the tough times together really brings people together in a way which no other experience can bring. (and no, it’s not like I Know What You Did Last Summer.)
September was also the month I fell in love with two girls, namely, ezann lee and samantha tan. They are goddesses. Too bad they played lesbians in that movie, Be With Me…but oh well that’s every hormone-fuelled male’s ultimate fantasy, yes?
September was also the month I turned 20, became a fan of Arrested Development, lit my first cocktail, and began having strange dreams of some of the ladies in my life. *applause* happy birthday to me! Hahaha! Strangely, the hype about my birthday was really non-existent. I guess I’m just not a huge celebrator of my birthday. Haha…to me, it’s just another day. Don’t you agree? It’s just a reminder that you’re old! And that the grim reaper will be seeing you sooner and sooner…(well that sounds kinda warped, but I got that from watching Arrested Development.)
…let me sleep, so I can dream of you
let me sleep, so I can be with you…
And let’s not forget!
Geboren:
horz – 8.August
singapore – 9.August =P
jacqueline – 14.September
yu ru – 15.September
ivy jie – 17.September
uncle me – 29.September! (you can also celebrate on the Mooncake festival. Yes, I am that lucky to have millions of people around the world celebrate my lunar birthday unintentionally. Bah.)
posted by quatscherei @ 01:40
1 Comments:
Much agreeԁ. Anytimе Ӏ go on %source_url&%, I hаρpen upon а ωebsite that
is enlightеnіng anԁ thоught-pгоvoκing.
. It's never a bad idea to engage the ideas and material of other writers and link to other sites.
my web page :: qlp7zen.blogspot.com
Post a Comment
<< Home