Going Emo
My family isn't in town. What a ghost town this place is totally. Especially at night, when everyone turns in and its just so, so quiet. These photos were taken at 7 p.m.
I mean, just check it out. You don't need rocket science to figure out how quiet it is here. I was just thinking that this would be a great opening for an ultimately long piece which should be beneficial to all of you. This weekend has been a great opportunity for me to think. And i find myself getting emotional at all the wrong times. I mean, you can all go ahead and think i'm some wimp for getting emo. But what the fuck, i don't care. So, apart from fresh air, running, alcohol and nicotine (which i haven't been having a lot of), i've been really doing a lot of soul-searching. About where i am now. And most importantly, about those around me.It's so true that friends make the person, isn't it? I never recalled having true friends (except for a special someone), but just having people to hang around with in secondary school, until i entered JC. There, i was blessed with a great class who brought sunshine and laughter to me, who taught me to laugh again, as well as a very close-knit group of LEPers with whom we bitched, laughed, and plotted our revenge against the tyrant. Add to that a huge group of friends in OAC. JC days were simply the best. There, i made 3 close buddies. And a group of dudes who i don't normally see these days. Also a wonderful girl named kah yee, but that's another story...add to that equation lots of girls, and the rest is more or less history.
Then came the Army. I wasn't that loud as i was in JC, but i still made good friends, nonetheless. People whom you could trust your life with. People who sweated with you, crawled in the mud with you, dug fire trenches with you, deployed with you, cursed at charlie hotel when cleaning out bunks and who climbed up and down a mountain with you. People who threw their peak caps with you on that parade square. Delta Wing, Platoon 3. 33rd BTACC. People who i may not see always in the future, but whom i know i can always count on. People like melvyn (thanks for all the midnight trash-talking, i suppose) or chowster (are we gonna die?) But then i noticed something else. I slowly began to grow apart from some of my friends. Times when we had lots to talk about just became fond memories.
Of course, i still had my brothers by my side, people who would sit down and talk you through life's ups and downs (preferably over a glass of cognac but still.) I really wonder if whenever they said that 'but we're still close friends...' they felt fake and hypocritical. I wonder if their saying it is just a formality not to make us feel so rotten. But its true that i grew closer to my guy friends - zhicheng, horz (as if we weren't close enough friends in JC - haw) and especially reuben and kelvin. You two maggots. Hahaha. How we talked about women, drinks, life, and all our ideals, all over a good dose of alcohol. I grew close to a girl who i took to my comms ball - only to have it fall flat. Nonetheless, i would rather have her here than anywhere else. I also grew much closer to a friend who i've had since 2000 - 5 years already and we're still in touch - amazing, isn't it? She once told me that a song that reminded her of us was Photograph by Nickelback (if you dunno what song it is, go and download it) and when i read it i was like - Wow. I was already going emo and all this shit already...and it kinda led me to think about all the friends i've made, and all whom i've left behind, all whom i've gotten over, and all who left us behind.
Class 95 after 2 a.m. plays songs which really fit into this category...songs which grab you by the collar and drag you down memory lane. Sigh. I also discovered that i've been really shallow in JC - having like 10,000 friends kinda leaves things like that, because you've got a choice about who you want and who you don't. But now, when you finally discover that you are just all by your fucking self, those who will be the only constant in a life full of flux soon become clear. But it's not true that i don't cherish everyone whom i've become acquainted with. We're all just characters at some point of time on this huge theatre play known as life (i mean, it lasts an average of 80 years these days) and no matter how small your role was, it was still vital to the entire play. You may never know it until the day the curtain finally falls. People like...
ah cheng. Always kena makan by us. Poor dude...
All the sluts in 24 SA with me. As you can see, they spent most of their time sleeping.
Delta Wing, Platoon 3.
Team BATTLEKING, Thailand, September 2005.
02s26. Where've all of you gone to?
samantha. Ich komme gleich nach Deutschland, jie!
emelyne. 5 years and counting...it was about 75% of your putting up with my nonsense that we've grown yet closer. That's 3 years and 9 months, for the record.
kah yee. Like the everclear song goes...with the lights of the city around you, those brown streaks look so pretty in your dark hair...
The mafia. No...the LEPers, actually.Sigh. Feel another emo wave coming up...*grabs for the nearest ice-cold Heineken*
posted by quatscherei @ 21:26
1 Comments:
i get high with a little help from my friends.
i guess the thing about friends is that yes, you may have 10 000 friends but its only a few of them that stick to you in times of need. and its hard knowing who they are and all, but you'll know them when the time comes.
its easy to criticise someone and say that he or she hasn't been a friend, and although you may subscribe to the old adage of getting a friend is akin to being a one, don't give up hope!
i won't pretend to be an expert on friendships, but what i do know is that through the ups and downs i'm thankful that YOU'RE there for me too. :) all through the let's-wreak-havoc-in-the-german-room and the austausch [although i admit that i wasn't exactly miss congeniality, and that i will regret forever] and then you on to army and me on to uni and hopefully when you're an old ah pek and i'm an old ah ma and we meet to discuss our halcyon days. then again, we could be discussing the rising cost of canes and nursing care and dentures.
take care, LEPers rock and no matter what, no matter where, i hope we stay the same.
*hugs*
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