...
Okay. found it in the
waste newspaper pile. Damn, that book is expensive and if i lost it...grrr aiya...Knotting is quite an important part of me because it is me. the rough outdoors? yea whatever, coming smoothly back to the topic...
OCS wasn't a waste of time, because at least we toured the school and got to know what OCS was really about. But the Discovery Centre visit was. What the hell. We've all been there already, so please don't bore us with your tour...but the movie was good stuff i must admit =P The computer fucked up again (like it has always been doing these few days) so i was rushing madly all around trying to get my peer and instructor appraisals done and printed. Got it done on me poppa's laptop. The printing problem was resolved. How? Tell you later.
Yea anyhows then i went to meet kelvin and qiu juan for dinner...woah...never at so much before at a food centre sial...why do people commit such acts of gluttony? Don't ask me - although i just did yesterday...perhaps i got so sick of combat rations (
Samantha: braised duck rice, anyone?) that i pia food which is more
fit for human consumption...haahaha...yea then after that went to catch a bus to Sam's place...ran into an acquaintance (more like neighbour) long ago...haha...the people you meet when you least expect it! Oh well expect the unexpected i guess?
Yea anyhow got to my jie's place REAL late because poor blind old myopic me totally missed the bus-stop by...4 or 5 stops? Then sherry's bf was already waiting...so i chionged all the way back...what do you know? i'm fit. i think i ran
2 klicks in my
beng slippers with my
sling bag...without stopping/running short of breath or wod but wah...reaching the bus-stop...felt like all my give-a-fark drained out...super shacked!
Déjà vu: End of BIC... yea anyhows then went up...sat around...hey my jie's in good shape...at least she's home safe and dry and that's good...saw loads of fotos she took but i didn't get to ask much about uni life...nvm la she still got 3-4 weeks here can grill her slowly lol...cuz...i went for wu jian dao marathon...watched until 2+ sial...ohh and got my barang-barang too!! heehee thanks jie for lugging it all the way back~ =p you rock sialz~
Got up today at 7+...awoke by myself! a first...hahaha...yea anyhow you ARE in someone's house remember...can't afford to sleep too deeply...makan, freshen up, do everything and then i left around 0845...i decided to walk home. Damn. yesterday i
really chionged a lot...it took me about 20 minutes to walk back to the place i started chionging from their house! then jie messaged me..."you walking home? got bus lei...we saw u crossing the junction...fever??" haha. silly girl, but she means well...sometimes you should go for a walk on your own...see the world all around...i donno. it's therapeutic for me. haha...maybe you all should consider it one day?
Booking in at 1810. Situational test tom, but i heard it's DAMN DAMN DAMN slack. Schauen wir mal...wahrscheinlich werde ich Gewinner? :x Egoist. haha...
Schiess auf die Wochenende!
Sigh...my long weekend is over...not that it was particularly enjoyable...i kept getting the feeling that Friday was wasted, even though i went out with weenz and ivy...bought myself this german book...
Unfug des Lebens und des Sterbens...supposedly it's cheem? no idea, i'll only find out when i read it right? it's supposedly my in-camp read...or just a book to read when i'm too free got nothing to do la. den bought comics too...hey anyone interested in X-Treme X-Men: #2-11? i'll give you 45 bucks for all 10...wanna sell them off liao...running out of space at home! Yea then went to meet ween when she knocked off from work...which reminds me it's her birthday...sian...i so poor liao lei...but i'm still gonna get her something i guess...
Yesterday also damn waste time. Réveille at 0530 leh...even though it's supposed to be a rest cure for us?! Yea whatever you never get total rest on a long weekend; it just seems too good to be true haha...yea anyway got up to go OCS...then...
Fuck. my Knot Book is missing.
Nie stoppen, immer noch weiter!
Hey all...kommt mir gut ins Feierabend, endlich bin ich wieder zu Hause nach...11 Tagen? Na ja 7 Tagen inmitten eines Regenwaldes...haha...okay la. Had my field camp over there...what can i say? To learn the basics of fieldcraft and survival so that your chances of survival in jungle combat imcrease? To teach the basics of combat, camouflage, concealment, movement, and so on and so forth...I guess we're lucky to have 1WO Karna wif us? As a Commando, he knows more and teaches more, but he demands even higher standards from us which we couldn't all achieve...that's why our camo can be so different from the others...the other platoons insisted on 3 stripes of black for camo...ours is...more into breaking the shape and features of the face into light and shadow...show you my patterns next time la (cuz we spent like 2 and a half freaking rolls of film) i guess we get Commando training and Commando standards. That's good. I'm serious. I still wanna learn how to dive down like he does when we get contacted by fire...instead of the standard way...looked damn seh in any case...
Yeah we also learnt concealment, we all stuffed leaves and all that whatnot to our helmets, SBO (Skeletal Battle Order) and proned down in the undergrowth...apparently the school 2IC came to visit...he saw no one, then Karna told us to stand up...wow, really quite zai right, from nothing to like more than 40 heads bobbing out of the undergrowth...can tell that he was impressed la. not bad. Can't say the same for the other days when we did our fire movement...we farked up so bad that PC almost blew his top...uncoordinated and everything, but hey we're newbies! Wish we could do better though, cuz our PC's going...it's fun lah...how you have to prone down immediately and react accordingly to enemy fire...normally you have to perform a charge (termed
chiong sua...) yea it's damn bloody tiring but damn bloody fun too...the adrenaline pumps through your veins and yea you just push and push on...also learned field movement...walk, rush, crawl, roll...i won't elaborate....go learn urself la! haha...
This morning we went for Battle Inoculation...a course where you and your rifle have to crawl (back and leopard crawl) 70 metres through sand and barbed wire, then throw a dummy grenade and physically attack a Figure 15 target...this is considered the ultimate chiong sua because the crawling is damn tiring (as i speak my elbows and knees are raw) but i guess i was immune to pain for up to half the way until...
The Obstruction. Darüber will ich nichts mehr reden...not bad i must say...the walk there was quite demanding also la cuz muz keep taking cover and muz chiong over a bridge...now i know why SOC is so tiring...wie es aussieht werde ich meinen Spielplatz-Test durchfallen...Failed. Cut off. and so on. and so forth. damn shack sial! hai...i donno leh i wanna pass everything, it's the least i should do...yea but i
LOVE to chiong! Pain is temporary, glory is forever...
Nights in Tekong are just beautiful, especially in the outfield. I saw lots of fireflies in the jungle, and the constellations twinkle back at you from the Great Dark beyond...also learnt about night movement...Ghost Walk. Crawl. hmm. What else about the nights? Oh...sleeping in the basha must be with your rifle...i hugged it for each and every night...-zzzz- so uncomfortable, like high-podding the weapon all the way even when u sleep sia...
The bad stuff. Powder bathes. Bleargh. you gotta put all that white stuff all over you and turn totally white...you still gotta check clear in front of the platoon sergeant *snickers* haha...the disgusting mush we call combat rations...been eating out of a green packet for the past 7 days and i sure as hell dun wanna repeat that experience...it's sick lor...now i'm home and have access to more humanlike food...haha...as if i've been living on a planet for the past week? yea....sigh ok la i have to go and sleep...too shacked sial.
bonne nuit, je nous aime...
Oh. As an afterthought, did i mention that we only got
blank rounds to fire throughout the camp? They're not only unreliable (lots of stoppages!), dirty (dirtier than live rounds!), silly (only a small flash and bang), and they're made of plastic...goodness. never mind. Every morning when we are issued our rounds to load our magazines, chew on our dog biscuits and apply our camouflage creme to our faces, it still comes out of a scene from any action movie. Wanna know more? Be a part of it! ciao...
Schiesserei | Ich fühle nichts...warum? | St. Valentine's.....*sigh*
Hey all...it's Sunday and it's about time for me to get ready to return to camp...in admin attire again wif my silly sandals. It's simply
brainless to lug my boots from Tekong all the way home and back...which effectively means you don't have room to put all the barang-barang you bought for field camp...but what the hell NS is NS...i can't go back in Smart 4 anyway because my jockey cap is hanging on a hook in my bunk hahaha...so too bad! Yeah anyway, i booked in on thurs night...to an empty bunk...Delta 1's resident strength reduced from 50 to 3...haha impressive right? Not really la the rest all went for their trail shoots...leaving poor lonesome us sitting in our bunks slacking...SIB (Slack in Bunk) is a good thing la...when can you lie in your bunk doing nothing but slack, sleep, make fone calls and do all that whatnot...good! Yea anyway the boys weren't back until around 12, when we were all sleeping already...but eh at least we did their mosquito nets for them...see how nice we are...how lucky Bunk 3 really is....=x
Friday was
Schiesserei, which really is German for (a lot of) shooting...basically we got up at 0520, drew our M16 rifles and headed down to range for some bang-bang fun...yea went for zero-ing, then day shoot, then night shoot...I guess this is the difference from IMT...the cordite smell from the ejection port...the recoil of the rifle butt against your shoulder...the satisfaction of seeing the target drop...the hot barrel...it's quite a pity that i'm strong only at squatting and foxhole...i can't prone well...and a LOT of combat takes place at prone...sigh...unless u want me to squat everywhere and shoot, i don't mind la hahaha...anyway. Shot 11/16 for the day shoot...not bad...but only 8/16 for the night...damn unfair! everyone had their chance at night on thurs...it was my first night shoot...but seeing all the tracers streaking downrange...wah...Star Warz....should think about making a video about it. hahaha...anyway yea i can tell all of ya out there that live range is...
boring!...i spent...16 hours there but only actually shot for...45 minutes at most...you gotta wait for the remaining 199 people to finish shooting too dears...sigh...yea anyhows...passed with an overall 19/32...so we got back, cleaned our wives (which is time-consuming, tedious and boring) and then sent arms...Lights out at 0000.
Saturday i got to book out at 0630...compassionate leave for my gramma...the rest of the boys booked out around 1500 i think...yea anyhows. Took (the wrong) bus to Tampines, changed to 67 and sat there all the way home...Thank Goodness for my radio...by the time i got off, it was 0900 sharp...to think i hopped on the bus at 0745...but then again, long bus rides are your time to see the island from east to west...to pass through the old districts to the new posh housing...to see people get on and get off...i contemplated going back to nj but heck i didn't in the end...it's wrong in the first place. Yea anyway caught the first glimpse of my ingrown toenail...apparently it's recovering, the wound's dried up....still looks like crap and the nail hasn't grown out...peng...oh also went to buy waterproof plasters and tape and all that whatnot for field camp. Turns out i won't miss it after all because according to the quack, it should be recovering well by friday. Good! Field camp promises to be interesting, in any case...
Then went down to the wake...St. Valentine's Day is supposed to be
un jour de l'amour, a day of love...but i spent it at a wake...perhaps that's where people show their final respect and love for the deceased...and come to think of it, i'm still single (and wondering why...) geez...why do dumb thoughts keep getting into me? Anyway, i sat there folding paper into ingots, attending the prayers until about 2300...when i went home and watched the Royal Rumble haha...but still...senseless...i find wrestling totally stupid these days. wtf...Today we all got up early and hustled down at 0800 back to the funeral parlour...said some final prayers and then we brought the coffin down for cremation...apparently my grandma had a good life. The remnants of cremation are large and chunky...although how the priest came to that conclusion remains out of my grasp...perhaps that she left in peace?
I am rather appalled at my apparent apathy throughout the entire process...i didn't cry or what...just carried out everything with an air of indifference...maybe it's that i know that she's gone to a better place...perhaps i know deep deep down that my conscious mind doesn't know...i know that i should be mourning but i feel...strangely neuter...i really don't know. But i guess it's taken its worth on me too...right now i am physically and emotionally drained...totally unable to do anything now...but walk and talk cock i guess...sigh...life isn't always perfect i guess...all i hope now is to recover physically in time for field camp...perhaps get back in action slightly before...i'm aching for a workout, can u believe that? haha...until then...
Oh...welcome home, jie...it's about time...wir sehen uns ja...
Xavier Naidoo - Abschied Nehmen
An apt song, don't you think? If you don't know German, too bad, use the translator on my links panel...So geht's:
Und gestern drang die Nachricht dann zu mir
Ich weiß nicht, aber es zerriss mich schier
Denn keiner kann mir sagen, wie es geschah
Keiner unserer Leute war noch da
Du lagst ganz gut, das hat man mir gesagt
Warum hab ich dich nie selber danach gefragt?
Du hättest ein Großer werden können
Und irgentwie wollte ich dir das nicht gönnen
Und ich wollte noch Abschied nehmen
Das werde ich mir nie vergeben
Mann, wie konntest du von uns gehen
Jetzt soll ich dich nie mehr sehen?
Verzeih mir all die Dinge, die ich sagte
Nur weil mich wieder irgentetwas plagte
Verzeih mir und den Jungs, dass wir nicht da waren
Vergib mir, dass ich nicht mit all dem klar kam
Und ich wollte noch Abschied nehmen
Das werde ich mir nie vergeben
Mann, wie konntest du von uns gehen
Jetzt soll ich dich nie mehr sehen?
Was machen wir jetzt ohne unseren Held?
Wir vermissen dich und ich scheiß aufs große Geld
Du bist weg, was nützt der ganze Mist?
Mein kleiner Bruder wird für immer vermisst
Und ich wollte noch Abschied nehmen
Das werde ich mir nie vergeben
Mann, wie konntest du von uns gehen
Jetzt soll ich dich nie mehr sehen?
Nie mehr sehen
Abschied nehmen
Mann, wie konntest du von uns gehen
Jetzt soll ich dich nie mehr sehen?
Wir vermissen dich
Was machen wir jetzt?
Oh, wir vermissen dich...
C'est trop tard!
Heya...the topic is french for "It's too late!" Lotsa things are done way too late, then people regret. And regret. But what can you do but stare, gape and wonder "Why?" A silenced scream of anguish. The regret for things long past. But what are you going to do? C'est trop tard! Tout est trop tard!
What did i do too late? Today i
FINALLY got my ingrown toenail removed....got to book out too...Sgt Lance followed me...cursed me all the way because he was the COS yesterday and got like zero sleep...but he was thankful for the bookout...finally saw that he too has a nice side...likes to talk cock too...and tried to psycho me to go SISPEC...i told him that...i will go and meet my destiny lor...he was like...aiya ok lor. But hey you see a side of him you don't normally see...have to remind myself that he'll become this maniac during field camp...but i think there's a good side to everyone...just that removing the toenail has given me this HUGE wrapped-up bandage and the postponement of my live range until March. Didn't hurt like shit, but it wasn't badly infected anyway! What the hell. And my live range. Fucking
MARCH. Sgt Lance said, 'haha, got another day to slack' because he has to follow me to the range...but i'm attached to another company...i'll know no-one excluding my sergeant...personally, it sucks. I could've cut the nail earlier, but i didn't want to. For what, i don't know. Perhaps i'll explain later. Because the toenail was already ingrown waaaaay back, i could've done it way earlier! C'est trop tard! I only got it done because i didn't want it to affect my field camp...at the rate things are going, it may anyway. OOC isn't fun. it's fuck. gonna die...
Next. Got home to discover my grandmother passed away...i think she collapsed about last afternoon but i donno about the details...only found out today...C'est trop tard AGAIN! got over there to see...
rigor mortis. And if you've never experienced death up close, it smells of shit. I swear. Applied for compassionate leave outside of my medical leave. It's the terrible empty feeling in the pit of your stomach which makes you really, really sick deep down...knowing that she's gone but not willing to admit it...and then the silent, fervent prayer that at least your beloved are at your side on your deathbed...I donno what 1WO Karna's gonna think. That i'm a bloody slacker? Slack, my foot. But i may book in tml night. Considering how i'm gonna miss range, i don't see the sense in that...would rather be useful than useless...you can use my toe as a bloody club now...I don't know what's gonna happen when i change the bandage on Friday, either at Tekong medical centre or outside...probably the toe will drop out with me screaming bloody murder. Geez. Really donno.
I'm just praying that for the remainder of BMT, my nail grows properly without giving me anymore fucking ingrown problems. If i OOC, i swear the first thing i'll do is destroy the nail base...so I'll never have a nail there anymore...disgusting? you best. but permanent? That's another pro. Hope, wait and see. When things are
this bad, they can only get better...? That's another question
There's a part about fate i said earlier right...I guess
Jiayi cancelled with me on Valentine's for a reason...as i booked out to get my toenail done today...Just so that i can be there to see my gramma's prone body...um das letzte Abschied nehmen zu können...just a few muted words, mouthed deep in your very soul, and a silent prayer to whomsoever may be listening...to pray for a better existence elsewhere...
merci to all my friends who've been lending me their support...i'd do it for you.
C'est la vie. But when life is fucked-up? you feel like a damn jibai lor! hai...
Es geht um das Schiessen und das Faulenzen
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...Jetzt ist's schon Sonntag, muss gleich wieder rein...was mir ganz Scheiss finde...anyway...last week was slack...really really slack...basically we just woke up to go to the range to shoot...then...slack around and wait for everyone to finish shooting...before we all went back to rest...Contrary to popular belief, shooting range is damn tiring, even though we went to the computer range where actually it's air-conditioned...and the recoil of the fake M16 is almost negligible...*sigh* i really donno what live range is gonna be like...haha...nvm la...on wed i'll know, maybe i'll write a special bumper entry on the 14th...Valentine's mah...although i'm spending it alone (
again) but yea...being alone could be good too...means you're not tied down! right...=P
Anyway...yea i dun think i'll get a slacker week than last week...almost every night was IBM night (Individual Body Maintenance) so got time to call pple and they're like "wah you're REALLY that free in camp ah??" *disbelief* haha well gotta tell y'all that miracles happen...occasionally. Friday our luck ran out, kena standby bed 3 times in 1 night...bloody hell...imagine having to rush around in a blind panic, arranging ur locker nicely, cleaning the toilets n' corridors, bla bla bla...3 times over! Upstairs got standby area...haha...then there was this 2nd Lieutenant wandering around (Platoon 2's PC i figure)...haha...donno la. i'd rather have a warrant officer walking around any time. Perhaps they're kinder, perhaps they're more fatherly, but i tellya there's something about them which demands immediate and lasting respect. Of that i'm sure.
Live range this coming week, Wed, Fri, Sat i think...not so good because book out will be late...but thinking of Mr Ong and how he can't book out
at all (field camp), spending his Valentine's Day with his wife (M16 rifle) yea but mine's coming up too...damn scared that my wife gets stolen...will have to think of a way to best the sergeants lor...But! Leave that to next week...can't write everything now right?
Until then, it's time to lock n' load, team! haha...au revoir, and excelsior!
