9258/00 | Suesse Freiheit! | Was geht ab?
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...
ca va? Today was the final paper in my entire collection of A Level papers...9258/double-nuts: Chemistry Special. How to say? Standard wise i must say it was harder than Maths S. >.< huh? Maths S was more do-able than Chem S; never ever had to lie, cheat and steal my way through like this before. Especially when i'm called chem shen...also kena mental block today....i kept forgetting that...nitriles can get hydrolysed to give carboxylic acids...so i went and did the Lucas' reagent thing in lieu of organische synthese...haha...xian so much. but i got home and checked my texts...hey what do you know, it checks out. =) Pure luck, my friends...
And so concludes a dramatic saga, of swashbuckling knights and high adventure! Nah not quite. A Levels don't really look that way huh? Especially when you can't exactly come swooping down to the rescue of a damsel in distress. Wells. It's all over. and us poor prisoners of the pen and paper, devotees of the textbooks...have finally cast off our shackles and are freeee!!! Free, free, free as a bird i'm flying, can't you see i'm alive? *grins* wheeeee!~ Went bowling today. no good. ZIYOUREN can only score a maximum of 90 points. How pathetic. >.<
I'm in the middle of scriptwriting now. It's a feature film...but the contents remain secret...wanna know? use ECHELON to find out lor. haha. Anyway...i'll tell you if we ever make it that far yea...that's a
BIG if. There's a chalet tom: until the 30th i will be unavailable....try to reach me lor...by SMS...you can probe ur friends for my number. haha. i'm not THAT popular anyhows! ooo. 9780**** it's only 9999 numbers. happy trying ya....then gonna ton at rongzan's house from 1st to 4th dec....>.< *faints* aiyoooo...so power hor...5th is prom. probably the last time i will see some of my classmates...how unkind things really are at times. you spend 2 years fighting and striving for a common goal. now it's over. everyone's gone their own ways. *sighs* that's how it is. But...best is...s26...
toujours! au revoir!
....wie kann es so sein?
No wonder. I play GTA so well. esp. as cabbie...keep running pedestrians over. -.- But...i think roadkill sucks...
Endgame: 9258/01 + 9284/01: Multiple Choice | TEDIUM! | Frueh freigelassen
Hallo ihr alle da draussen....the past two days are more or less the end of my A Levels...the past two days have seen me drag my half-asleep body to school at 7:30 in the morning, collapse into a corner in the OAC Store, go for a 1 hour long MCQ paper, then be released at....what, 9 am? in my opinion, it's a waste of time, but ahh hecks what can you do about such things, i ask you? Nevermind, c'est la vie...it's over....
the two MCQ's were quite okay to say the least...have 1 error on chem and so far none on bio. i'm praying for a perfect on the paper...make that the ONLY perfect i will ever get on an A Level paper....-.-
Went to watch Heroes of Heaven n Earth today...tian di ying xiong i think...dun quite remember...its a film you should only watch wif ur blard bruddahs man...shows u the spirit of honour, and the bond between warriors. I just with i had more pple with me at the movies. DANG!
Now begins my 6-day wait for Chem S. Hai...so sian...couldn't cambridge put tt somewhere earlier...the tedium...wie kann ich denn das ertragen?
Backs. Then after Maths S today got Chem 3 lor. Now u know why today is killer...imagine having 2 3 hour papers in a single day...wah. brain drain man. Total. Chem 3 was like. umm. very rush? 3 hours then u muz chao pia 10 questions...not theoretically impossible but it's a bit difficult lor...cuz hor. 1. The questions are super duper gi guai. 2. Must think. how to finish 10 qns? Of course i finished lah. but it's rushed. i faced more stress here than Maths S lor. Ah well. with this, i won't be writing on foolscap anymore until Chem S next thurs. *crosses fingers n toes* ganbatte!!!
9233/00 + 9258/03 | Killer
Today was killer. Multiple papers...9233/double nuts : Maths S and 9258/03 : Chem 3...may i add that Chem 3 is the main paper of chemistry? i wonder why Cambridge is doing this. Anyway. Let's begin with Maths S. I think i'll pass this time.
PASS. Yay. Merit instead of ungraded. Probably can lah. Did about 60+ marks' worth this time...much better than the 40+ i did last time...and what's more a lot of proving...Can prove that by now already got 19 marks. Almost there liao...then Stats can do also...bleah. someone is making so much noise that i have to leave him the computer. what a jackass. bis nachher.
9284/03 : Biotechnologie
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...today was 9284/03: Bio Option 2 (Biotechnology)...>.< medical didn't come out. wtf. Felt so cheated...never mind...at least i still could write something...although my mind felt quite blank lor. nevermind....anyways. coming back to things, tomolo's the mad S paper + Chem 3 day....totally evil and i donno what's gonna happen eh? Schauen wir mal. hehe...ciao
Bedanken inmitten der Verzweiflung
Hey y'all...i've been under a lot of stress lately and yes i am freaking out; Plant Tissue Culture notes today looked as if they were written in Old English (Hail and tremble, ye of infernal faith....) yes. ich kapiere nix. can see how my biotech is going going gone. esp. for agriculture. if they come out plant tissue culture i will just take 15 marks away from my total. dann schauen wir uns das mal an. I have accepted the fate that i will probably be financing myself to go study in germany, thank the focus on 4 A's and a good CCA record. I ask you, is that really a good measure?
I found this song a few days back....it's quite mushy, but i guess i'll paste the lyrics here because there's so many of you out there who i wanna thank...people who've talked to me, who've tried to pull me together when i was about to fall apart...thank you. in the middle of all this despair, there is hope, nor will i give up....this is for you. peepz like mehmeh, gladys, jie, eme, phy, y'all...haha. i don't normally do this, but thank you. really.
No Angels - That's the Reason
I'm going through good and bad times
Working hard to live my dreams and I
Don't know if it is the right way
I changed my life in so many ways but
Sometimes I wonder
If I had made it without
The way you love me and support me
Makes me know we'll never part
The way you touch me deep in my soul
That's the reason you're in my heart
The way you need me like I need you
I'm sure we'll never part
The way you feel me and make me smile
That's the reason you're in my heart
In moments of fear and darkness
You covered me with light and hope
And you have to let me know if there is
Something I can do for you yes
Sometimes I wonder
If I had made it without
The way you love me and support me
Makes me know we'll never part
The way you touch me deep in my soul
That's the reason you're in my heart
The way you need me like I need you
I'm sure we'll never part
The way you feel me and make me smile
That's the reason you're in my heart
You're in my heart
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A glimpse of the future to come? i don't know. goodbye.
9284/02 und 9233/02 | Bitte lass ein Wunder nur auf einmal geschehen
2 more papers today; (sweet freedom)? i must say that maths was easy again...despite the (widespread) fears that maths 2 would screw us cuz maths 1 was easy...in the end? I was sleeping by 9:30. 1 hour and 40 minutes. if anything, i finished this faster than paper 1....hopefully i'll A the subject...then that's at least 1 down. it's over.
Bio was bad. really bad. the topics which i was most confident for didn't come out. No. nichts. zilch. nothing at all. i was forced to do DNA and cell structures - At least i could do DNA...xian a bit lor. then Cell structure qn was like. throwing smoke.....i donno. currently as i speak i am mentally drained and feeling totally insecure. Especially about GP and Bio. I am terrified of the consequences. I like to think it's no fault of mine but yet it is...it's my life for me to live - surely i have to bear the consequences? perhaps i will end up in some shit-hole doing the worst job anyone can imagine. perhaps that is the flaw in our system - poor results = no future. perhaps that's why if i get shit grades and can't go anywhere here i'll migrate to somewhere like germany. and i will strive. strive hard. to achieve. but by then i'm not a singaporean anymore.
Did anyone say something about loss of local talent? It is hardly surprising here, given how rigid things are and how the Singaporean mindset is. Waere es etwa lockerer! Es ist nicht zu sagen dass es keine Chancen gibt, aber wie viele Beispiele hat man schon gesehen? Nur
eins. Am schlimmsten haue ich von diesem Land ab. Ich werde euch alle vermissen aber was kann ich denn tun? man soll sagen, c'est la'vie...so ist es mit dem Leben...
I have become totally jaded and tired of the system here. i just don't know why. i really don't know. i'm lost, floundering in a freezing ocean in the middle of a thunderstorm. and behind my cheerful facade lies the insecurity, the blind panic, just waiting to be unleashed upon my psyche. And upon others. I tend to blow up sometimes...perhaps i really AM that good disguising my emotions. But when it all comes out, i'm terribly sharp and cutting. I'm sorry. So sorry....
I'm very tired. Yet as the Sun rises tomorrow i will rise again to cram more information in my head. A cornered animal will put up a most spirited fight to the very bitter end. Am i cornered? trapped? Will the fat lady sing?
Scheiss verdoppelt: 8005/1+2 und 9258/02
Double the shit, double the papers....2 subs today: GP and Chemistry 02...let's begin with GP. what can i say? Bleah. BLEAH!! *sighs* how? i didn't feel particularly lost but yet i felt like i wasn't doing everything perfectly right...but as the Spanish adage goes, "he who always thinks he is making mistakes is the wisest man." truth or fiction? You decide.
Chem was....unorthodox to say the least....not that it was difficult or what...but just...unorthodox. i donno. maybe it's cuz i dun do TYS....maybe. MAYBE. so many maybes. tomorrow's maths + bio. wieder scheiss verdoppelt; but then, after tomorrow it's 4 days of sweet freedom! ganbatte! seeya tomorrow.
9233/01 | Was heisst einfach?
Heeeey ihr alle da draussen...today was 9233/01: Maths...well what can i say? After living through 2 years of Math hell in NJ, the A Level was more like a walk in the park? I remember breezing through it, finishing in 2 hours out of the given 3. Einfach oder?
Tomorrow's GP. And Chem. i am, however more worried about GP considering what i got for prelims. I'm just counting on a twist of fate to help me get my A2 or A1 or B3...Let's hope that the powers that be not be blind to our desperate pleas for help. Struggling in a mire, we do not have much direction in this world....Was heisst einfach? What is easy? What isn't? It all depends on your perspective as well as mine. i would probably do something more abstract or science-related; ask me to do something with regard to the more mundane aspects of life would be equivalent to asking me to commit
seppuku...i don't know why. Perhaps i haven't informed myself about the world and was geht ab...*frowns* hilfe!!! as you can see, i am not a master of words. nor am i a living dictionary. i am but a human being. a simple human being. everyone wishes he/she could be more special, that he/she could right past wrongs, but how much of that is really possible? Think about it. ciao.
9182/05 | Schluss mit Deutsch! Finally... | Ethics (of a maddened tortured soul)
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...1 down and 4 to go in my A Levels....today was 9182/05: Hoerverstaendnis. Listening Compre, as you all out there would call it. well. listening's the easiest of all the papers....i trust i won't screw this one up. And so we come to the end of German, but with the end of every chapter another begins...a time of risk, high adventure (hahaha), disappointment, worry and intense brain-bursting cramming. Ugh. I just
HATE that word.
cramming. It seems as though someone is trying to place you into a small bartop refridgerator. Perhaps that's how your brain feels afer a long hardcore session...too much stuff stuck inside. Why can this lead to insanity?
It's a simple analogy. Most of us are non-telepaths. But what if telepathy were proven to be a fully possible phenomena, not the figment of one's imagination? If someone has psionic abilities, he or she would be able to
read minds. Now, what happens when this psionic person enters a room full of people, and the thoughts of people start flooding into his or her mind? With so many voices, so many differing thoughts, so much cluttered information, it really isn't that difficult to imagine why people who cram too much may go insane eventually. Do you see? Yes, you do. =)
(And you thought schizophrenia was bad. Perhaps that's why we haven't evolved the ability to read minds. haha. )
Yes. and now we come to ethics. What do you understand by the term 'ethics'? in the past, ethics was the code to living a good life, but today, it has become more of a code to avoid causing disturbances to others. All through history, from antiquity to the Dark Ages to the Renaissance to today, philosophers have sought to decode ethics and find the ultimate moral code, by which humans must swear to in the name of morals. What have they used as comparisons? God. Nature. Human reason. These are the three greatest references philosophers have used for ethics. Why? the very image of God portrays himself as a perfect entity. And since we were created by him, perhaps you could say that we are all the children of God. It follows, thus, that he too lives by ethics. These ethics must be perfect; since when has imperfection been attributed to God? (Although there ARE some paradoxes which attribute some imperfection; for example, how can God create a rock so heavy that he himself cannot lift it? Yet surely the omnipotence of God can do it.)
Second, Nature. What is nature? Just as Darwin disproved the theory that we are all children of God by formulating the theory of evolution, it follows from this very scientific postulation that we are part of Nature. Surely Nature has given us the capacity of intelligent thought for a reason? Since the capability to think is within us, certainly it is within our nature to determine what is right and what is wrong, for that ability is inherent in the ability to think intelligently. Yet, we are a race which has seen 6 million Jews die in the German concentration camps. We are a race which has witnessed the use of atomic weapons on Japanese soil. We are a race which perpetrated the near-madness of Mutually Assured Destruction, better known as the euphemism nuclear deterrence. Has anyone given thought to what's right and what's wrong there? Both the Allies and the USSR insinuated that the other side was evil and thus the need to place warheads along both sides of the Iron Curtain. Is it in our nature too to do these unethical things? We could have very simply reached an agreement and go into nuclear disarmament. It is very clear to the eyes of the world what the nuclear fallout did to the millions of citizens of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Lastly, human reason. Human reason has been used to explain ethics; of which, the German philosopher Immanuel Kant, as well as many European philosophers have held major ground on. Kant stated that ethics and morals are within our nature; only when we act in the knowledge that everyone would do the same in the same situation would be ethically correct behaviour. it should also be noted that the so-called ideal form of government was born out of ethics based upon human reason, that of benevolent despotism. The Age of Enlightenment decreed that the masses be enlightened before they could actually behave according to this set of ethics. the European monarchs thus began to take it upon themselves to set an example (or so it seems to me...) All over Europe, be it France, Germany or wherever else, monarchs began to rule for the welfare of their subjects and not to curry favour. It must be said, however, that benevolent dictatorship is, today, an extinct system of government. Waste, isn't it?
Well. that's that. I am officially on hiatus until next Friday. til then...
9182/03 | Halo : Combat Evolved
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...na wie geht's? Heute habe ich noch eine Papier geschrieben: 9182/03: Deutsche Aufsatz. War nicht schlimm aber ich glaube es koennte doch besser sein (na ja, wann gibt man nicht zu dass man besser gemacht haette?) =P hehe...Ich habe ueber Recht und Kriminalitaet geschrieben...etwas ueber die Polizei und den Polizeistaat. Ich habe ein bissle gequatscht aber ich glaube alles wird o.k. sein...meiner Meinung nach habe ich diesmals besser als Prelims geschrieben...zumindestens habe ich geplant! haha...
Been playing Halo lately. My brother
HAD to d/l the demo yesterday. So i ended up playing it. at least i managed to get some german in my head...although not those mug and regurgitate types...which all the girls happened to answer. haha. i answered the question which required me to actually do some thinking...Mainly because i find it impossible to keep content of that kind in my mind (which partially explains my poor results at Bio....) yes. i digress. coming back...Halo's a gd game...although it's a Microsoft FPS....haha...but the effects are good and all...it's also asymmetrical warfare...like now you can take to the skies or drive a vehicle, et cetera? it's cool! Tried playing online and discovered that i'm best at sniping, assault rifle and running people over. -.- I always preferred hitscan weapons because you don't have to put unpredicted target behaviour into consideration. hahaha...cheap amn't i. aye. but that's the way the world is. haha....think you've seen it all in the FPS world?
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than is dreamt of in your philosophy! It doesn't fit in this context but it sure feels good saying it. haha. ciao!
