Where light and shadow meet...
posted by quatscherei @ 23:50
2 comments
Leb' den Tag
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Überarbeitet? Unmöglich! Maggerous Scum So beginnt die Böse...
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...after Sunday's DOO (which carried on to Monday afternoon...) i have been feeling seriously overworked and drained. Don't know why...maybe it's because i'm not getting enough sleep...let's see. I slept at close to 0200 on Sunday night (or was that Monday morning?) because i was settling some last-minute stuff like the DOO/DSO reports which had to be submitted by 0700 the next morning. Sleeping in the Ops room is yet another experience. For one, there's air-conditioning. But i guess there's also a huge measure of insecurity to go with it as well because of that little nagging voice in the back of my head worrying about that blasted pager ringing in my ears during my slumber but me sleeping through it...which would amount to...7 extras, i think...
But before all that, let's see. Although the day was spent really quietly (yes a king reigning over a quiet dead land...haha) my day started to get hectic only after 2200. Bollocks huh? It was when i saw the first few botaks coming in to the Ops room to book in before i realised that 'hectic' would be an understatement. Es war nicht eine ganze lange Weile her, bevor eine ganze Schlange vor der Tür stand...It was like Singaporeans queuing for their Hello Kitty toys outside the various McDonald's fast-food outlets when it was all the rage...maggots jamming up my entire beloved Ops room...And not to mention a few cocks who happily came back to camp but forgot to book in. I had people banging on the Ops room door at 2240 asking to be let in to sign the book, only to see me in Smart 4 and to salute.
The book-in time? 2230. Maggots.
This week i'm going to begin doing up the lesson slides for the upcoming trade course; the R&S phase is drawing to a close, and soon they will come to TA battery for their course. It's not a lot - only 15 people, all told, but still. I still have to get my material ready to teach them. I read their theory test and i was petrified. Not at how easy it was. Rather, how lacking i was in the knowledge of the AN/TPQ-36/37 radar systems. It's like i only know the maximum, minimum and planning ranges, as well as the basic capabilities of the radar. Deployment? That's unforgettable la...but as for the TA ops, structure of the unit, and all the nitty-gritty tricks of the trade...or even things like safety distances...can you believe that i've forgotten them?! I shall have to dig them up from my old mountain of notes i got during BTACC...if not...how can i profess to be a radar section commander?! Horrible man...sigh...
Unfortunately, preparing for the course involves getting pictures, preparing and updating slides, and so much more. Dang. I hate the work. Maybe that's why i've been feeling so drained lately. Meine Seele will an die Arbeit, aber der Körper nicht...so i guess i'd rather plonk down on my bed and...concuss. I know it's swine behaviour but i can't help it.
Today i started to show my evil side. Because of the maggerous trade course...
Aus den folgenden Gründen...
1. They were sloppy
2. Can't give 2 shits to answer an officer properly
3. Dropping toggle ropes, beyonets, M16 magazines during SOC...making the AIs become karang guni men...
4. Calling a Staff Sergeant encik (come to think of it i only dared to do so after commissioning)
And many many more...which equates roughly to...maggot behaviour! They are very lucky that...although i did whack them a bit, it was like...how shall i put it...
'A small portion of his skull swiveled to the side to show the boiling blood beneath. A hiss of steam escaped before the vent closed again...' Haha...i guess no one would want to be a trainee under me...as Nishant so obtusely pointed out. Well. Too bad, but i do have to be tough on all of you, my darlings. Haha...
And some news from my uncle: He got my Absolut Vodka and my Bombay Sapphire, after all. Also ein grosses Dankeschön an Dir...will have to return the money soon too...
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...after Sunday's DOO (which carried on to Monday afternoon...) i have been feeling seriously overworked and drained. Don't know why...maybe it's because i'm not getting enough sleep...let's see. I slept at close to 0200 on Sunday night (or was that Monday morning?) because i was settling some last-minute stuff like the DOO/DSO reports which had to be submitted by 0700 the next morning. Sleeping in the Ops room is yet another experience. For one, there's air-conditioning. But i guess there's also a huge measure of insecurity to go with it as well because of that little nagging voice in the back of my head worrying about that blasted pager ringing in my ears during my slumber but me sleeping through it...which would amount to...7 extras, i think...
But before all that, let's see. Although the day was spent really quietly (yes a king reigning over a quiet dead land...haha) my day started to get hectic only after 2200. Bollocks huh? It was when i saw the first few botaks coming in to the Ops room to book in before i realised that 'hectic' would be an understatement. Es war nicht eine ganze lange Weile her, bevor eine ganze Schlange vor der Tür stand...It was like Singaporeans queuing for their Hello Kitty toys outside the various McDonald's fast-food outlets when it was all the rage...maggots jamming up my entire beloved Ops room...And not to mention a few cocks who happily came back to camp but forgot to book in. I had people banging on the Ops room door at 2240 asking to be let in to sign the book, only to see me in Smart 4 and to salute.
The book-in time? 2230. Maggots.
This week i'm going to begin doing up the lesson slides for the upcoming trade course; the R&S phase is drawing to a close, and soon they will come to TA battery for their course. It's not a lot - only 15 people, all told, but still. I still have to get my material ready to teach them. I read their theory test and i was petrified. Not at how easy it was. Rather, how lacking i was in the knowledge of the AN/TPQ-36/37 radar systems. It's like i only know the maximum, minimum and planning ranges, as well as the basic capabilities of the radar. Deployment? That's unforgettable la...but as for the TA ops, structure of the unit, and all the nitty-gritty tricks of the trade...or even things like safety distances...can you believe that i've forgotten them?! I shall have to dig them up from my old mountain of notes i got during BTACC...if not...how can i profess to be a radar section commander?! Horrible man...sigh...
Unfortunately, preparing for the course involves getting pictures, preparing and updating slides, and so much more. Dang. I hate the work. Maybe that's why i've been feeling so drained lately. Meine Seele will an die Arbeit, aber der Körper nicht...so i guess i'd rather plonk down on my bed and...concuss. I know it's swine behaviour but i can't help it.
Today i started to show my evil side. Because of the maggerous trade course...
Aus den folgenden Gründen...
1. They were sloppy
2. Can't give 2 shits to answer an officer properly
3. Dropping toggle ropes, beyonets, M16 magazines during SOC...making the AIs become karang guni men...
4. Calling a Staff Sergeant encik (come to think of it i only dared to do so after commissioning)
And many many more...which equates roughly to...maggot behaviour! They are very lucky that...although i did whack them a bit, it was like...how shall i put it...
'A small portion of his skull swiveled to the side to show the boiling blood beneath. A hiss of steam escaped before the vent closed again...' Haha...i guess no one would want to be a trainee under me...as Nishant so obtusely pointed out. Well. Too bad, but i do have to be tough on all of you, my darlings. Haha...
And some news from my uncle: He got my Absolut Vodka and my Bombay Sapphire, after all. Also ein grosses Dankeschön an Dir...will have to return the money soon too...
posted by quatscherei @ 21:07
0 comments
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Verfaulend verbringe ich Sonntag... The Magic Key
Yes, the topic is correct...i am literally rotting this Sunday...Because, as i said yesterday, i am today's DOO! So...i had to drag my tired ass out of bed at 0630 this morning when my handphone began to play The Great Commandment by Camouflage. I think my phone has this really wicked sense of irony...hahaha...Great Commandment, indeed!
And so, half-awake me and my folks went down to Khatib (sigh. They're wonderful people) for breakfast, and then back to camp! Melvyn was the complex DOO (which means mounting and dismounting guards, staff parade, etc...that poor sucker) and so he told me to go to the armskotes at around 0830 because he had to dismount the guards. He also told me that i should call a certain Calvin Seah...our S4...but it twisted around in my head to become Kelvin Chua...our beloved dy S3...so i was quite shocked when the person who answered the call sounded disoriented and wasted. Damn...dumb mistake of the day man...haha...hope he isn't pissed...he didn't even sound 40% awake. hahaha...
Taking over the Armskotes was a bit troublesome, because the guards wanted to send their arms while we were performing the handing/taking over process. I'm not too sure about melvyn's double arms certs because i only saw one, but i've been told they're correct, so...i don't know. i guess i will have to check them later again. Don't want him to sign extras too...so if there're disrepencies, i'll have to get him to come down and make another arms cert ASAP, if possible tomorrow first thing in the morning. Arms is an issue which no one can afford to fuck around with...if you've heard of the Infantry Sword of Honour who was decommissioned and thrown into prison because his men lost some arms in the jungles of LANCER...you'll understand...
Just had lunch, and now here i am writing my blog...haha...man...the boredom is beginning to seep in...but ohh wells...a weekend once in awhile ain't that bad...i'd take weekends...it means...less work to do...which is really good sometimes. Haha. And it also means saving money! Because you can't go out! What do you spend on Sunday in camp...the canteens are closed...maybe you spend about 2 bucks on canned drinks with lunch/dinner. Voilà!
And last night was Project: Cosmopolitan II. This time, i used limes which were already orange, in contrast to the first one, when i used limes freshly picked from the lime tree in my garden...i reduced the Cointreau accordingly and upped the volume of Absolut Citron. Also shook in half a shot of cranberry juice instead of one shot in the first attempt. The results was a sweet Cosmopolitan. Sigh. Something is wrong...maybe i shall persist in using fresh limes and maybe dilute the cranberry a tad...half a shot and half a shot of water? Well, basically, if you drank last night's attempt directly, the alcohol'd get to you really quickly. But if you held it in your mouth for a bit, the sweetness would begin to permeate and well, you wouldn't feel the alcohol that much.
The Bols Cocktail Guide lists the Cosmopolitan as a very strong, sour cocktail. Most would rather have it sweet. Jason said that if you diluted cranberry juice, you'd first taste the sweetness before the sourness came...maybe i'll experiment on it with just the juice. Or maybe it's the shaking? Maybe stirring will concentrate all the sourness at a certain portion of the cocktail...ohh well that's experimentation...i'll use fresh limes next time and maybe up the cranberry a little more...hopefully i'll chance upon the magic key to the problem soon...
The Magic Key
It's not obvious to see
Yet there for you and me
Searching for a magic key
It lies across the sea
Go on an odyssey
All just for that magic key...
Chancing upon the pot of gold
Lying at the beginning of a rainbow
A wonder indeed, one to behold
The stuff of legends once before told...
Yes, the topic is correct...i am literally rotting this Sunday...Because, as i said yesterday, i am today's DOO! So...i had to drag my tired ass out of bed at 0630 this morning when my handphone began to play The Great Commandment by Camouflage. I think my phone has this really wicked sense of irony...hahaha...Great Commandment, indeed!
And so, half-awake me and my folks went down to Khatib (sigh. They're wonderful people) for breakfast, and then back to camp! Melvyn was the complex DOO (which means mounting and dismounting guards, staff parade, etc...that poor sucker) and so he told me to go to the armskotes at around 0830 because he had to dismount the guards. He also told me that i should call a certain Calvin Seah...our S4...but it twisted around in my head to become Kelvin Chua...our beloved dy S3...so i was quite shocked when the person who answered the call sounded disoriented and wasted. Damn...dumb mistake of the day man...haha...hope he isn't pissed...he didn't even sound 40% awake. hahaha...
Taking over the Armskotes was a bit troublesome, because the guards wanted to send their arms while we were performing the handing/taking over process. I'm not too sure about melvyn's double arms certs because i only saw one, but i've been told they're correct, so...i don't know. i guess i will have to check them later again. Don't want him to sign extras too...so if there're disrepencies, i'll have to get him to come down and make another arms cert ASAP, if possible tomorrow first thing in the morning. Arms is an issue which no one can afford to fuck around with...if you've heard of the Infantry Sword of Honour who was decommissioned and thrown into prison because his men lost some arms in the jungles of LANCER...you'll understand...
Just had lunch, and now here i am writing my blog...haha...man...the boredom is beginning to seep in...but ohh wells...a weekend once in awhile ain't that bad...i'd take weekends...it means...less work to do...which is really good sometimes. Haha. And it also means saving money! Because you can't go out! What do you spend on Sunday in camp...the canteens are closed...maybe you spend about 2 bucks on canned drinks with lunch/dinner. Voilà!
And last night was Project: Cosmopolitan II. This time, i used limes which were already orange, in contrast to the first one, when i used limes freshly picked from the lime tree in my garden...i reduced the Cointreau accordingly and upped the volume of Absolut Citron. Also shook in half a shot of cranberry juice instead of one shot in the first attempt. The results was a sweet Cosmopolitan. Sigh. Something is wrong...maybe i shall persist in using fresh limes and maybe dilute the cranberry a tad...half a shot and half a shot of water? Well, basically, if you drank last night's attempt directly, the alcohol'd get to you really quickly. But if you held it in your mouth for a bit, the sweetness would begin to permeate and well, you wouldn't feel the alcohol that much.
The Bols Cocktail Guide lists the Cosmopolitan as a very strong, sour cocktail. Most would rather have it sweet. Jason said that if you diluted cranberry juice, you'd first taste the sweetness before the sourness came...maybe i'll experiment on it with just the juice. Or maybe it's the shaking? Maybe stirring will concentrate all the sourness at a certain portion of the cocktail...ohh well that's experimentation...i'll use fresh limes next time and maybe up the cranberry a little more...hopefully i'll chance upon the magic key to the problem soon...
The Magic Key
It's not obvious to see
Yet there for you and me
Searching for a magic key
It lies across the sea
Go on an odyssey
All just for that magic key...
Chancing upon the pot of gold
Lying at the beginning of a rainbow
A wonder indeed, one to behold
The stuff of legends once before told...
posted by quatscherei @ 12:20
0 comments
Zeitverschwendung | The Cosmopolitan
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...just before i have to go back to camp, cutting my weekend short...yes, i am the DOO (Duty Orderly Officer) tomorrow...so i guess when everyone's out enjoying the close of the weekend (or is it the opening of another week?) i will be rotting in the Ops Room. Sigh. Oh well...i guess it helps to save money...every time i go out i spend money, and if i stay home...it's not very good sometimes because sometimes there are conflicts between me and my family too...having less time at home, sometimes, makes it better in that everyone appreciates everyone more. Non?
I guess now i shall report on the Project: Cosmopolitan I last night. Firstly, i think i added too much Cointreau. The Cosmopolitan smelt strongly of Cointreau, Cointreau, Cointreau! The scent of oranges just wafted up from the glass... Secondly, the cocktail was sour. I don't know if that's how a Cosmopolitan is supposed to taste because there never is a benchmark for cocktails - some people say it's sweet and some books say it's sour. So...what do i do? I guess today i will reduce the Cointreau content a bit and see how it goes again. I also just found out that i can make a Scarlett O'Hara, but that's another story.
Cosmopolitan
Shake with ice the following:
30ml Absolut Citron
22ml Cointreau
8ml fresh lime juice
15ml cranberry juice
Go to where the lime trees grow
Ask them for one, or maybe two
Green fresh limes for you to borrow
For them to offer their very juice...
Absolut Citron, lemon vodka
Measure a shot carefully in a cup
A citrus scent belies its strength
Beware, it hits just like a tank...
Cointreau, l'espirit d'orange
Brewed from oranges specially picked
Orange fragrances tempt the senses
A liqeuer referred to in many tenses
Cranberry, a deep blood red
Lends a Cosmopolitan its reddish shade
Sourness with a hint of sweet
Like matters of the heart, if you take a peep...
So fill your shaker now with ice
Squeeze the limes over those crystal dice
Absolut Cointreau, embodiment of citrus
Don't forget the cranberry juice first!
So close the glass and give it a shake
Watch the differences begin to fade
Take a look - c'est parfait?
And so a Cosmopolitan is made...
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...just before i have to go back to camp, cutting my weekend short...yes, i am the DOO (Duty Orderly Officer) tomorrow...so i guess when everyone's out enjoying the close of the weekend (or is it the opening of another week?) i will be rotting in the Ops Room. Sigh. Oh well...i guess it helps to save money...every time i go out i spend money, and if i stay home...it's not very good sometimes because sometimes there are conflicts between me and my family too...having less time at home, sometimes, makes it better in that everyone appreciates everyone more. Non?
I guess now i shall report on the Project: Cosmopolitan I last night. Firstly, i think i added too much Cointreau. The Cosmopolitan smelt strongly of Cointreau, Cointreau, Cointreau! The scent of oranges just wafted up from the glass... Secondly, the cocktail was sour. I don't know if that's how a Cosmopolitan is supposed to taste because there never is a benchmark for cocktails - some people say it's sweet and some books say it's sour. So...what do i do? I guess today i will reduce the Cointreau content a bit and see how it goes again. I also just found out that i can make a Scarlett O'Hara, but that's another story.
Cosmopolitan
Shake with ice the following:
30ml Absolut Citron
22ml Cointreau
8ml fresh lime juice
15ml cranberry juice
Go to where the lime trees grow
Ask them for one, or maybe two
Green fresh limes for you to borrow
For them to offer their very juice...
Absolut Citron, lemon vodka
Measure a shot carefully in a cup
A citrus scent belies its strength
Beware, it hits just like a tank...
Cointreau, l'espirit d'orange
Brewed from oranges specially picked
Orange fragrances tempt the senses
A liqeuer referred to in many tenses
Cranberry, a deep blood red
Lends a Cosmopolitan its reddish shade
Sourness with a hint of sweet
Like matters of the heart, if you take a peep...
So fill your shaker now with ice
Squeeze the limes over those crystal dice
Absolut Cointreau, embodiment of citrus
Don't forget the cranberry juice first!
So close the glass and give it a shake
Watch the differences begin to fade
Take a look - c'est parfait?
And so a Cosmopolitan is made...
posted by quatscherei @ 00:24
0 comments
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Englischkenntnis
| Advanced You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 87% Advanced, and 70% Expert! |
You have an extremely good understanding of beginner, intermediate, and advanced level commonly confused English words, getting at least 75% of each of these three levels' questions correct. This is an exceptional score. Remember, these are commonly confused English words, which means most people don't use them properly. You got an extremely respectable score. Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it! For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/. |
| |
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
posted by quatscherei @ 21:51
0 comments
Friday, March 25, 2005
Einkaufen gegangen! | Die Gedenken, die ich so schätze | Falsch traniert??
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...happy Good Friday! Today...although i fell asleep at like say 3 am last night...i was up at 0830...actually i got woken by 0745 by my mom asking if i wanted to go for breakfast at Chinatown...i said...are we going to eat dim sum or something like that, then drifted off again...a moment later i felt someone shaking me...so i opened my eyes and saw that it was already 0830...sunrays were already filtering in through the windows. So i dragged my tired ass off the bed, dressed up and went to Chinatown.
On the way, one of my locators, Wee Chong, actually called through to 933...(the car was on that station at the time anyway) haha...i knew it the moment the DJ said his name...well actually because he's a very loyal listener...yah...didn't know that he'd be up that early anyway. Haha...and then he dedicated the next song to all in 24 SA TA battery! Sigh. Dedicate to me on Sunday ma...when i'm the stupid DOO...lol he was shocked that i would be awake that early when i messaged him haha...oh well. It is the little highlights which brighten up one's otherwise dull and uninteresting life, isn't it?
And guess what...I really had dim sum in the end for breakfast! Haha.
Going back to Chinatown's wet market was nostalgic for me. I haven't gone there for years. I can still vaguely remember the times when i'd go down there with my grandmother...but back then i was still in secondary school...there came a time when i didn't want to go to the market anymore, but i guess i decided to go with my grandmother to the market again in JC. I don't know why i decided to do it again, but...it sure beat sleeping in! Haha. Slippery floors. The din of the hawkers selling their meats and vegetables. Catfish piled up on each other, swimming sliggishly in putrid water. I guess the wet market experience is something which one in Singapore should be able to identify with...
Sigh. Everytime i go back to Chinatown, it's like a walk down memory lane. I love that place. I miss it like crazy. Who doesn't miss a particular place apart from home that one spent so much time at, that it could be said that one grew up there too?
Then i went shopping! For glassware...can you believe it? Haha. Got 2 shooter glasses at $0.90 apiece at Tang's (woah...that's seriously cheap, considering we're in the heart of town) and a shaker for twelve bucks...also got a bottle of cranberry juice...means now i can officially make a Cosmopolitan! (The drink made famous by Sex and the City) I'll try it and see how it tastes. Haha...then reuben and me went down to City Hall...where he took me through an impromptu course on wines and the vital liquers one should have to ensure a wide enough variety of cocktails...apparently, blue curaçao or triple sec curaçao are more or less interchangeable...the only factor is the resulting colour of the mixture...so...i don't know yet. It's expensive, though - a Bols Blue costs about 50 plus bucks? Bloody alcohol taxes. Sigh. Hanging out with Reuben is going to have a positive effect on my alcohol taste and a negative effect on my bank balance.
We also talked abit about our problems as we walked hunting for affordable glassware/alcohol...sigh. Giving advice may not be the wisest way...sometimes i guess i'd be better off just sitting there and listening. I guess everyone's different. And i guess that i erred in not being to appreciate the differences between every person. I guess that the belief that i would not sit down and stay dumb when faced by the problems of another was ingrained into me during OCS...it was natural to be proactive and to give your advice on possible solutions. But i guess everyone is different. Not everyone wants solutions. Not everyone wants a pep talk. Some people just want someone who will listen to them. Sigh. I guess that that's a factor which partially explains why although people normally mean well, they often get misinterpreted badly. Life is much, much more complex than a simple set of rules. I mean, you can live based on simple principles, but you also need much, much more to be socially adept. I guess we all have to learn sometime.
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...happy Good Friday! Today...although i fell asleep at like say 3 am last night...i was up at 0830...actually i got woken by 0745 by my mom asking if i wanted to go for breakfast at Chinatown...i said...are we going to eat dim sum or something like that, then drifted off again...a moment later i felt someone shaking me...so i opened my eyes and saw that it was already 0830...sunrays were already filtering in through the windows. So i dragged my tired ass off the bed, dressed up and went to Chinatown.
On the way, one of my locators, Wee Chong, actually called through to 933...(the car was on that station at the time anyway) haha...i knew it the moment the DJ said his name...well actually because he's a very loyal listener...yah...didn't know that he'd be up that early anyway. Haha...and then he dedicated the next song to all in 24 SA TA battery! Sigh. Dedicate to me on Sunday ma...when i'm the stupid DOO...lol he was shocked that i would be awake that early when i messaged him haha...oh well. It is the little highlights which brighten up one's otherwise dull and uninteresting life, isn't it?
And guess what...I really had dim sum in the end for breakfast! Haha.
Going back to Chinatown's wet market was nostalgic for me. I haven't gone there for years. I can still vaguely remember the times when i'd go down there with my grandmother...but back then i was still in secondary school...there came a time when i didn't want to go to the market anymore, but i guess i decided to go with my grandmother to the market again in JC. I don't know why i decided to do it again, but...it sure beat sleeping in! Haha. Slippery floors. The din of the hawkers selling their meats and vegetables. Catfish piled up on each other, swimming sliggishly in putrid water. I guess the wet market experience is something which one in Singapore should be able to identify with...
Sigh. Everytime i go back to Chinatown, it's like a walk down memory lane. I love that place. I miss it like crazy. Who doesn't miss a particular place apart from home that one spent so much time at, that it could be said that one grew up there too?
Then i went shopping! For glassware...can you believe it? Haha. Got 2 shooter glasses at $0.90 apiece at Tang's (woah...that's seriously cheap, considering we're in the heart of town) and a shaker for twelve bucks...also got a bottle of cranberry juice...means now i can officially make a Cosmopolitan! (The drink made famous by Sex and the City) I'll try it and see how it tastes. Haha...then reuben and me went down to City Hall...where he took me through an impromptu course on wines and the vital liquers one should have to ensure a wide enough variety of cocktails...apparently, blue curaçao or triple sec curaçao are more or less interchangeable...the only factor is the resulting colour of the mixture...so...i don't know yet. It's expensive, though - a Bols Blue costs about 50 plus bucks? Bloody alcohol taxes. Sigh. Hanging out with Reuben is going to have a positive effect on my alcohol taste and a negative effect on my bank balance.
We also talked abit about our problems as we walked hunting for affordable glassware/alcohol...sigh. Giving advice may not be the wisest way...sometimes i guess i'd be better off just sitting there and listening. I guess everyone's different. And i guess that i erred in not being to appreciate the differences between every person. I guess that the belief that i would not sit down and stay dumb when faced by the problems of another was ingrained into me during OCS...it was natural to be proactive and to give your advice on possible solutions. But i guess everyone is different. Not everyone wants solutions. Not everyone wants a pep talk. Some people just want someone who will listen to them. Sigh. I guess that that's a factor which partially explains why although people normally mean well, they often get misinterpreted badly. Life is much, much more complex than a simple set of rules. I mean, you can live based on simple principles, but you also need much, much more to be socially adept. I guess we all have to learn sometime.
posted by quatscherei @ 21:53
0 comments
Ich muss Scheissarbeit vermeiden! | Mach ich zu viele Dingen falsch? | Die Wahl
Hello ihr alle da draussen...Too much sai kang has killed me and mel this week...not really too much lah...but...its all suddenly very concentrated...let's take Thursday afternoon, when Dy S3 asked if me and mel could take SOC again. Second time in 2 weeks, which shouldn't really happen...but ohh well you are a new 2nd Lieutenant, you will take all sai kang which happens to cross your path...
And so today we took a little joyride down to SOCE@Nee Soon Camp for our SOC, which included...S1, S4, the FAMS Battery 2I/C, and my own battery's 2I/C, followed by this warrant officer (haha. suck thumb loh, 1 more year to excuse SOC!) and 3 men...including this dude from my battery...PTE Samuel...he's the type who is very quiet, and i think it'd be very very easy to scare him out of his skin indeed...but...I'm very proud that he passed his SOC! Even though my Boss is quite suspicious regarding the test results (he still can't believe that the S4 passed with one second to spare) but all in all...well done, team!
Good day! ORD loh. BOLLOCKS lah...i still have 12 months to go...hahahaha...but mok had better clear his SOC soon...before he flashes that pink I/C tantalisingly before my eyes...because...well...one doesn't go to OCS for nothing...one isn't presented the sword for nothing...what is the sword? It's not an ornament. It's a reminder of the President's, and the SAF's trust in your leadership. Which, of course, involves going for SOC and giving your best to pass it. Not avoiding it time and time again!
Like i told Samuel before SOC...'There's no escape for you!' Maggot Mok. bleah. At least he's not like some other officer who's never in camp, always in some limbo between home and camp and no one can trace his whereabouts. I think we could bring in a K-9 team and we would still fail to find this person. Hmm.
Sometimes...i wonder if i do the right thing at all. I went to the airport just now to see my jie off...but when she complained to me about how bad things were, and what an ugly ending to her stay in Singapore the night was, i told her that maybe she should put it behind her and go and appreciate what little time was left...in the end, she said i was lecturing her. Did I? Sometimes, it's not very right to be objective. I try to be objective because...well...siding with someone is being unfair to the others, and what's more...sigh. Maybe i should have kept my trap shut and listened. I meant well, but maybe i phrased my words wrongly or she misread me. Anyhow...now she's gone. Bon voyage, then. Have a good school term ahead.
After that i realised that i wouldn't be able to catch a train home, so...well i got a lift to Bedok, only to find out that there were neither trains nor buses home! Sigh. No choice...i had to catch a cab home...luckily it was still a bit before midnight so i didn't have to pay 50% more for the entire trip...that would've been quite killer...heng ah...and a plus point is that i ended up at home quite quickly...around...0015? If i took a bus which left at midnight, i'd be home by one, i think...so...hooray for prudence? Nope. It's the lack of a choice...not that i mind being home early...
The choice...sigh. Should i buy triple sec or blue curacao? Both are orange liquors, but i've been told that triple sec is a MUST, although i've seen it substituted by Cointreau in many many recipes. Maybe i should get a blue curacao. Hmm. I don't know. And...if you all are asking...yes, i AM trying to increase my repertoire of cocktails. Drinking a Black Sun now. Wicked. Can't even taste the coke. Hmm. Maybe it's because i used a 2:1 ratio of Cointreau to rum. Maybe 1:1 is better. Hmm. If not...the cointreau taste is waaaay too strong here.
And 5 minutes ago I pulled a door which was supposed to be pushed...and so i spilled some of my alcoholic mixture...sigh...what is wrong with me?
Hello ihr alle da draussen...Too much sai kang has killed me and mel this week...not really too much lah...but...its all suddenly very concentrated...let's take Thursday afternoon, when Dy S3 asked if me and mel could take SOC again. Second time in 2 weeks, which shouldn't really happen...but ohh well you are a new 2nd Lieutenant, you will take all sai kang which happens to cross your path...
And so today we took a little joyride down to SOCE@Nee Soon Camp for our SOC, which included...S1, S4, the FAMS Battery 2I/C, and my own battery's 2I/C, followed by this warrant officer (haha. suck thumb loh, 1 more year to excuse SOC!) and 3 men...including this dude from my battery...PTE Samuel...he's the type who is very quiet, and i think it'd be very very easy to scare him out of his skin indeed...but...I'm very proud that he passed his SOC! Even though my Boss is quite suspicious regarding the test results (he still can't believe that the S4 passed with one second to spare) but all in all...well done, team!
Good day! ORD loh. BOLLOCKS lah...i still have 12 months to go...hahahaha...but mok had better clear his SOC soon...before he flashes that pink I/C tantalisingly before my eyes...because...well...one doesn't go to OCS for nothing...one isn't presented the sword for nothing...what is the sword? It's not an ornament. It's a reminder of the President's, and the SAF's trust in your leadership. Which, of course, involves going for SOC and giving your best to pass it. Not avoiding it time and time again!
Like i told Samuel before SOC...'There's no escape for you!' Maggot Mok. bleah. At least he's not like some other officer who's never in camp, always in some limbo between home and camp and no one can trace his whereabouts. I think we could bring in a K-9 team and we would still fail to find this person. Hmm.
Sometimes...i wonder if i do the right thing at all. I went to the airport just now to see my jie off...but when she complained to me about how bad things were, and what an ugly ending to her stay in Singapore the night was, i told her that maybe she should put it behind her and go and appreciate what little time was left...in the end, she said i was lecturing her. Did I? Sometimes, it's not very right to be objective. I try to be objective because...well...siding with someone is being unfair to the others, and what's more...sigh. Maybe i should have kept my trap shut and listened. I meant well, but maybe i phrased my words wrongly or she misread me. Anyhow...now she's gone. Bon voyage, then. Have a good school term ahead.
After that i realised that i wouldn't be able to catch a train home, so...well i got a lift to Bedok, only to find out that there were neither trains nor buses home! Sigh. No choice...i had to catch a cab home...luckily it was still a bit before midnight so i didn't have to pay 50% more for the entire trip...that would've been quite killer...heng ah...and a plus point is that i ended up at home quite quickly...around...0015? If i took a bus which left at midnight, i'd be home by one, i think...so...hooray for prudence? Nope. It's the lack of a choice...not that i mind being home early...
The choice...sigh. Should i buy triple sec or blue curacao? Both are orange liquors, but i've been told that triple sec is a MUST, although i've seen it substituted by Cointreau in many many recipes. Maybe i should get a blue curacao. Hmm. I don't know. And...if you all are asking...yes, i AM trying to increase my repertoire of cocktails. Drinking a Black Sun now. Wicked. Can't even taste the coke. Hmm. Maybe it's because i used a 2:1 ratio of Cointreau to rum. Maybe 1:1 is better. Hmm. If not...the cointreau taste is waaaay too strong here.
And 5 minutes ago I pulled a door which was supposed to be pushed...and so i spilled some of my alcoholic mixture...sigh...what is wrong with me?
posted by quatscherei @ 00:55
0 comments
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Die neue Trainees... | Schlechtes Gewissen | Sichbräunen und Trainieren | Ich sehne mich nach...
I just want to kill them! Hahaha...okay lah...i guess our OCS instructors at Delta Wing must have felt the same way when they first saw us botaks at the parade square. They must've thought...
'stupid recruits. Don't know what it takes to be an officer. I will show them 01 x good one...'
I felt quite like that also. They seem to be really at a loss as to what remains to be done. Dumb maggots. They feel at a loss as to whether they should salute officers. They nod off during class. They can leave their bunk doors wide open when no one's there (i was very tempted to steal a SBO) with all the lights on in bloody broad daylight. They take notes studiously in class.
All of a sudden, 24 SA feels like some junior college again.
Everyone says i'm going to be this evil dude who's going to kill all of these poor maggots. I will not...yet. Wait for deployment drill to come and maybe FIREBALL. Then i will kill them good. I better loh. They're fighting FATEP with me leh! So better not fool around. Nor can i afford to be too friendly with them...you can't work with friends when it comes to a chain of command because all those fuckers will start to climb over your head. And once they do...then...it's good luck for you...so...
1. I will not befriend my men too personally.
2. I will care for their welfare.
3. I will be strict and objective, especially when training starts (overseas is another issue)
Schlechtes Gewissen is German for a bad conscience...which i currently have...because of an error i made last night...i told ween to call me last night at about 0020...when i was listening to Class 95...then i promptly fell asleep...i had a light dream where i heard Inner Smile from Texas playing again and again...but it wasn't until melvyn said 'What the fuck turn off the phone' that i realised....
My phone was ringing.
Guo-Liang managed to turn off the phone but i knew it was her...i called her and she sounded so so apologetic that i was sleeping...after that, i felt rotten that i woke melvyn. And i was a tad mad at ween because she called at a very inappropraite time...then i checked myself.
I asked her to call and not vice versa.
So what was there to be angry about? Nothing, i guess. Sorry, ween!
I'm dead tired and maybe a little sunburnt, but definitely darker today. Went to the gym yesterday and today...trained in supersets so that my chest and back feel like they've taken a beating...and then i went swimming today under the blazing noon Sun. Suffering? Not! A bit lah especially the afternoon after that when i was just dying from fatigue...struggling to keep my leaden eyelids open...But i must admit that it's fun to be finally under all that sunshine, swimming. Add that to lying in the sun like a snake trying to warm itself up...
So how do i feel now, you ask? Uh...quite well-done. Haha.
Ich sehne mich nach Europa! Suddenly i want to go back...i want to go back to Haiterbach and live that simple life. I want to go back to Berlin. I want to go back to Venice! I think i left my heart somewhere in the heart of Europe itself...and i don't know when i'll find it back...The moment when i stood on the clock tower on Burano, as the bells went off...the moment when i went up the Radioturm am Alexanderplatz, the evenings in that quaint little bungalow in Haiterbach, running through the pigeons at Piazza San Marco...sigh...i want to re-live them...but...time doesn't turn around and all i have now are memories, pictures which i keep deep within me for me to cherish forever.
Bilder von Dir überdauern bis in alle Zeit
Bilder von Dir überdauern bis in die Ewigkeit...~Laith Al-Deen - Bilder von Dir
I just want to kill them! Hahaha...okay lah...i guess our OCS instructors at Delta Wing must have felt the same way when they first saw us botaks at the parade square. They must've thought...
'stupid recruits. Don't know what it takes to be an officer. I will show them 01 x good one...'
I felt quite like that also. They seem to be really at a loss as to what remains to be done. Dumb maggots. They feel at a loss as to whether they should salute officers. They nod off during class. They can leave their bunk doors wide open when no one's there (i was very tempted to steal a SBO) with all the lights on in bloody broad daylight. They take notes studiously in class.
All of a sudden, 24 SA feels like some junior college again.
Everyone says i'm going to be this evil dude who's going to kill all of these poor maggots. I will not...yet. Wait for deployment drill to come and maybe FIREBALL. Then i will kill them good. I better loh. They're fighting FATEP with me leh! So better not fool around. Nor can i afford to be too friendly with them...you can't work with friends when it comes to a chain of command because all those fuckers will start to climb over your head. And once they do...then...it's good luck for you...so...
1. I will not befriend my men too personally.
2. I will care for their welfare.
3. I will be strict and objective, especially when training starts (overseas is another issue)
Schlechtes Gewissen is German for a bad conscience...which i currently have...because of an error i made last night...i told ween to call me last night at about 0020...when i was listening to Class 95...then i promptly fell asleep...i had a light dream where i heard Inner Smile from Texas playing again and again...but it wasn't until melvyn said 'What the fuck turn off the phone' that i realised....
My phone was ringing.
Guo-Liang managed to turn off the phone but i knew it was her...i called her and she sounded so so apologetic that i was sleeping...after that, i felt rotten that i woke melvyn. And i was a tad mad at ween because she called at a very inappropraite time...then i checked myself.
I asked her to call and not vice versa.
So what was there to be angry about? Nothing, i guess. Sorry, ween!
I'm dead tired and maybe a little sunburnt, but definitely darker today. Went to the gym yesterday and today...trained in supersets so that my chest and back feel like they've taken a beating...and then i went swimming today under the blazing noon Sun. Suffering? Not! A bit lah especially the afternoon after that when i was just dying from fatigue...struggling to keep my leaden eyelids open...But i must admit that it's fun to be finally under all that sunshine, swimming. Add that to lying in the sun like a snake trying to warm itself up...
So how do i feel now, you ask? Uh...quite well-done. Haha.
Ich sehne mich nach Europa! Suddenly i want to go back...i want to go back to Haiterbach and live that simple life. I want to go back to Berlin. I want to go back to Venice! I think i left my heart somewhere in the heart of Europe itself...and i don't know when i'll find it back...The moment when i stood on the clock tower on Burano, as the bells went off...the moment when i went up the Radioturm am Alexanderplatz, the evenings in that quaint little bungalow in Haiterbach, running through the pigeons at Piazza San Marco...sigh...i want to re-live them...but...time doesn't turn around and all i have now are memories, pictures which i keep deep within me for me to cherish forever.
Bilder von Dir überdauern bis in alle Zeit
Bilder von Dir überdauern bis in die Ewigkeit...~Laith Al-Deen - Bilder von Dir
posted by quatscherei @ 20:48
0 comments
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Und so gehen alles wieder los... | Unzählbare Möglichkeiten mit einem neuen Fotoapparat
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...the weekend has drawn to a close (schon wieder?) and here i am getting ready to go back into camp...The weekend hasn't been exceptionally wonderful, but i did spend a lot...but ohh well...a digital camera is something i'd spend on anyway, so...yeah wells.
Trade course begins tomorrow. Part of me can't wait. Part of me is a tad reluctant, because i'm not very sure at how exactly i am going to go about teaching the new locators their trade. Well...it's not that i'm not confident in what i do...just that...when we came in, the current locators were so much more experienced in their job; the phrase 'the best there is at what you do' really springs to mind...now we have fresh blood, untried in all aspects, and we have to train them. Bring them for deployment drills. SILL and FIREBALL. Teach them the principles of radar operations. Luckily they're JC intake, so...i guess they will be more...pliable? to us...hopefully, that is.
I guess i will know when we see them lugging their duffel bags (no more the Ali Baba bags we had which were huge olive green nightmares which had to be laboured from here to there but black ones with wheels) up to our floor (so we can terrorise them, presumably...)
And also...i believe you've already seen the 2 demo photos i took. My neighbourhood really looks like a resort (my mother simply refused to believe that it was Greenridge Crescent. She thought it was some resort overseas! Oh dear...) Looks like i'll be not just a camera slut anymore, but also a trigger-happy photographer too! Hmm...i will upload more photos as they come by...until then...take care!
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...the weekend has drawn to a close (schon wieder?) and here i am getting ready to go back into camp...The weekend hasn't been exceptionally wonderful, but i did spend a lot...but ohh well...a digital camera is something i'd spend on anyway, so...yeah wells.
Trade course begins tomorrow. Part of me can't wait. Part of me is a tad reluctant, because i'm not very sure at how exactly i am going to go about teaching the new locators their trade. Well...it's not that i'm not confident in what i do...just that...when we came in, the current locators were so much more experienced in their job; the phrase 'the best there is at what you do' really springs to mind...now we have fresh blood, untried in all aspects, and we have to train them. Bring them for deployment drills. SILL and FIREBALL. Teach them the principles of radar operations. Luckily they're JC intake, so...i guess they will be more...pliable? to us...hopefully, that is.
I guess i will know when we see them lugging their duffel bags (no more the Ali Baba bags we had which were huge olive green nightmares which had to be laboured from here to there but black ones with wheels) up to our floor (so we can terrorise them, presumably...)
And also...i believe you've already seen the 2 demo photos i took. My neighbourhood really looks like a resort (my mother simply refused to believe that it was Greenridge Crescent. She thought it was some resort overseas! Oh dear...) Looks like i'll be not just a camera slut anymore, but also a trigger-happy photographer too! Hmm...i will upload more photos as they come by...until then...take care!
posted by quatscherei @ 20:23
0 comments
Liqueur Cointreau®: L'espirit d'orange, harmonie subtile et naturelle des ecorces d'oranges douces et amères.
(What it means: The spirit of orange, harmonizing subtle and natural sweet and bitter orange essential oils...)
posted by quatscherei @ 18:37
0 comments
Test-foto...the neighbourhood. Doesn't look local does it? haha.
posted by quatscherei @ 13:35
0 comments
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Das Ausgeben und sein Beziehung mit Armut | Haushalt machen | Die Alcohol-Cache | Daylight in Your Eyes...
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...sigh i feel so broke...wollt ihr wissen, warum?
So geht's (Und es ist alles auf Deutsch!):
Gestern hab ich erfahren, als ich die Zeitung las, dass es ein Sonderangebot beim Turf City gebe...also könne man Schuhen und sonstiges billig kaufen und so bin ich heute nach Turf City gegangen, mir neue Schuhen zu kaufen! Meine alte Paar sind längst kaputt...sie bleiben noch bei mir, nur weil ich manchmal laufen will (in Camp laufe ich schon genug aber na ja...das kann man nie vorhersagen) so hab ich Adidas Superstar Lebensstilschuhen gekauft...für $80...danach bin ich nach Westmall gegangen, weil mein Bruder sich einem neue Rücksack kaufen wollte...
But i bought my digital camera there too! Sigh. Wieder mal, der Macht des Sonderangebots...so now i have an Olympus mju-mini...all in all, today i spent about $650. About half of this month's paycheck (back pay included)...so i shall have to stop spending, stop buying books, and if i go out, only for food and movies. Stop pubbing - no money to pub. Okay lah sounds decent...maybe i can even include some pool - it's not too expensive. But overall...i feel....POOR!
Today i helped out with the housework! Haha...that's good, considering that i didn't go out today...it's a good change from the past of just lazing at home and procrastinating. I bathed the dog! Haven't done that since those days at Seletar. I guess that after my old dog died, i wasn't too interested in getting another dog because i probably don't want to see another dog die...but i can't say the same for my poppa and my brother...and so today i was arrowed to bathe the dog, or else (can you believe it?? Arrowing!! Outside of Khatib Camp!) But then again i had fun. More interesting was that my sister came out to watch me bathe the dog. Hmmm.
And guess what. I've chanced upon an alcohol cache! Well it's nothing much lah, about 2 bottles of really old Chivas Regal and 2 bottles of Hennesy (dunno if that's the way you spell it, but hecks) and one bottle of Johnny Walker! Happy days...So what's still missing?
1. Bombay Sapphire (gin)
2. Tequila
3. Kahlua (coffee liqeuer)
4. Triple sec curacao
5. Absolut vodka
Anyone nice enough to buy me a bottle (or two?)
Sigh...these days, everyone's busy...she's busy...and i don't want to call her...she sounds so tired and so depressed...like all the life has gone out of her smiling eyes...although my feelings for her have mellowed somewhat, but still...i'm getting a bit worried...she always used to encourage me and bring me back on my feet but now? I guess...i guess that she's opening up to me...showing me that deep down, everyone has their cracks...sigh...jun...what can i do for you? You just have to tell me...tell me your problems...tell me your fears...and i will stand by you...for as long as it takes, for as long as it will ever need...because you were there too...
In moments of fear and darkness
You covered me with light and hope
And you have to let me know if there is
Something i can do for you
Sometimes i wonder
If i had made it without...
...the way you love me and support me
Makes me know we'll never part
The way you touch me deep in my soul -
That's the reason you're in my heart...~No Angels - Reason
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...sigh i feel so broke...wollt ihr wissen, warum?
So geht's (Und es ist alles auf Deutsch!):
Gestern hab ich erfahren, als ich die Zeitung las, dass es ein Sonderangebot beim Turf City gebe...also könne man Schuhen und sonstiges billig kaufen und so bin ich heute nach Turf City gegangen, mir neue Schuhen zu kaufen! Meine alte Paar sind längst kaputt...sie bleiben noch bei mir, nur weil ich manchmal laufen will (in Camp laufe ich schon genug aber na ja...das kann man nie vorhersagen) so hab ich Adidas Superstar Lebensstilschuhen gekauft...für $80...danach bin ich nach Westmall gegangen, weil mein Bruder sich einem neue Rücksack kaufen wollte...
But i bought my digital camera there too! Sigh. Wieder mal, der Macht des Sonderangebots...so now i have an Olympus mju-mini...all in all, today i spent about $650. About half of this month's paycheck (back pay included)...so i shall have to stop spending, stop buying books, and if i go out, only for food and movies. Stop pubbing - no money to pub. Okay lah sounds decent...maybe i can even include some pool - it's not too expensive. But overall...i feel....POOR!
Today i helped out with the housework! Haha...that's good, considering that i didn't go out today...it's a good change from the past of just lazing at home and procrastinating. I bathed the dog! Haven't done that since those days at Seletar. I guess that after my old dog died, i wasn't too interested in getting another dog because i probably don't want to see another dog die...but i can't say the same for my poppa and my brother...and so today i was arrowed to bathe the dog, or else (can you believe it?? Arrowing!! Outside of Khatib Camp!) But then again i had fun. More interesting was that my sister came out to watch me bathe the dog. Hmmm.
And guess what. I've chanced upon an alcohol cache! Well it's nothing much lah, about 2 bottles of really old Chivas Regal and 2 bottles of Hennesy (dunno if that's the way you spell it, but hecks) and one bottle of Johnny Walker! Happy days...So what's still missing?
1. Bombay Sapphire (gin)
2. Tequila
3. Kahlua (coffee liqeuer)
4. Triple sec curacao
5. Absolut vodka
Anyone nice enough to buy me a bottle (or two?)
Sigh...these days, everyone's busy...she's busy...and i don't want to call her...she sounds so tired and so depressed...like all the life has gone out of her smiling eyes...although my feelings for her have mellowed somewhat, but still...i'm getting a bit worried...she always used to encourage me and bring me back on my feet but now? I guess...i guess that she's opening up to me...showing me that deep down, everyone has their cracks...sigh...jun...what can i do for you? You just have to tell me...tell me your problems...tell me your fears...and i will stand by you...for as long as it takes, for as long as it will ever need...because you were there too...
In moments of fear and darkness
You covered me with light and hope
And you have to let me know if there is
Something i can do for you
Sometimes i wonder
If i had made it without...
...the way you love me and support me
Makes me know we'll never part
The way you touch me deep in my soul -
That's the reason you're in my heart...~No Angels - Reason
posted by quatscherei @ 20:29
0 comments
Friday, March 18, 2005
Mathe wieder erfinden | Es ist lohn, Dingen zu tun, obwohl man später sich dumm fühlt
Hallo ihe alle da draussen...so Friday is here again...isn't it amazing? Yet another week has flashed past without my perceiving it...sigh sometimes i look back and scare myself. Not to say that i've slacked a week away...noooo far from that! Since i booked in on Wednesday morning...i've done quite a lot...time to re-cap...
Wednesday morning. Got into the office to see Mok fussing over the stuff which Boss gave the 4 of us to do. Sigh...see...even the collective number of bars we have still get crushed by 1 x Captain...but anyway...yes so mok was debating over some difficult mathematical concept to melvyn (mind you i gave all my math back to Mr Chin in NJC) and then because we had a deadline to meet, so the 4 of us just put together what we knew about sine, cosine, tangent functions (which amounts to precious little) and got to work. It took a lot of time convincing each other how a particular formula would work, trying to find a way to compensate for the TPQ-36 which screwed up at THUNDER WARRIOR earlier this year. Anyway, i just discovered how much i like to suan mok! It's a new hobby...suan mok! It's not very good lah but still...who asked him to be so por to the Boss Man but William Tell-ish (i.e. the Arrow King) to us...as in me and mel lah...he doesn't touch JJ...then...JJ is better in that he takes the time to teach us and well...he's generally more approachable than Mok. Make that a lot more approachable. Add that to Mok's not-so-high standing with the specs...well i guess i don't have to paint more to the picture.
Anyway...the important part is...i discovered math again!!
*happy smile*
Then on Thursday...me and melvyn conducted SOC...i think as newbies both of us were strung a bit tight...mel was running all about...i was a bit slack but still it kinda caught on too...anyhows...mok failed again! and promptly got suan-ed by me...unbelievable...he has the Boss Man, our sergeant-major, and a fellow coursemate running with him and he still fails! Even gave up running. What a wanker. Mok is a positive example of what not to be like...even Wee Chong, this locator, outran him...because he had someone to push him. But at least he did not bloody give up.
I've been thinking of something. I want to tell my specs and men, once i've gotten to know them enough, that during outfields (e.g. FATEP/overseas) they can very well drop the 'Sir' thing and call me by name. I feel that it makes the whole thing work better because the line between the officer and the NCOs/men is dropped, so they feel that you're one of them also...i don't know if it's going to work though so...mal schauen...
And today. I basically did nothing until the afternoon, when i attended the co-ordination meeting for an upcoming Artillery visit. Goodness...the co-ordination required! Then i escaped early to go for my Basic Theory test...so easy i think it's impossible to fail, i just hope that i don't fail...carelessness can rear its ugly head...anytime...after which i went to eat because i thought i was supposed to meet someone at 2000. I waited until 2045, made a few phone calls, and everything, until she called to say she was at the Esplanade. What the fish...i was quite pissed because i felt like an idiot...but maybe she clean forgot, and i guess that if that person is worth your waiting 45 minutes, then i guess...it's worth it because you only get to see this person once or twice a year, but then...sigh. i still feel dumb. no one likes to stand and wait for ages only for nothing, i guess...
Never mind ba. Weekend's here! What shall i do? I want to buy shoes which i can go out in, maybe running shoes (i'll worry about those later) and glasses...did i tell you guys that i intend to learn how to make cocktails? Be an informal bartender? As in...knowing the techniques and recipes, but without the flair and showmanship of a true bartender...it's an art in itself i guess...wish me luck then!
Hallo ihe alle da draussen...so Friday is here again...isn't it amazing? Yet another week has flashed past without my perceiving it...sigh sometimes i look back and scare myself. Not to say that i've slacked a week away...noooo far from that! Since i booked in on Wednesday morning...i've done quite a lot...time to re-cap...
Wednesday morning. Got into the office to see Mok fussing over the stuff which Boss gave the 4 of us to do. Sigh...see...even the collective number of bars we have still get crushed by 1 x Captain...but anyway...yes so mok was debating over some difficult mathematical concept to melvyn (mind you i gave all my math back to Mr Chin in NJC) and then because we had a deadline to meet, so the 4 of us just put together what we knew about sine, cosine, tangent functions (which amounts to precious little) and got to work. It took a lot of time convincing each other how a particular formula would work, trying to find a way to compensate for the TPQ-36 which screwed up at THUNDER WARRIOR earlier this year. Anyway, i just discovered how much i like to suan mok! It's a new hobby...suan mok! It's not very good lah but still...who asked him to be so por to the Boss Man but William Tell-ish (i.e. the Arrow King) to us...as in me and mel lah...he doesn't touch JJ...then...JJ is better in that he takes the time to teach us and well...he's generally more approachable than Mok. Make that a lot more approachable. Add that to Mok's not-so-high standing with the specs...well i guess i don't have to paint more to the picture.
Anyway...the important part is...i discovered math again!!
*happy smile*
Then on Thursday...me and melvyn conducted SOC...i think as newbies both of us were strung a bit tight...mel was running all about...i was a bit slack but still it kinda caught on too...anyhows...mok failed again! and promptly got suan-ed by me...unbelievable...he has the Boss Man, our sergeant-major, and a fellow coursemate running with him and he still fails! Even gave up running. What a wanker. Mok is a positive example of what not to be like...even Wee Chong, this locator, outran him...because he had someone to push him. But at least he did not bloody give up.
I've been thinking of something. I want to tell my specs and men, once i've gotten to know them enough, that during outfields (e.g. FATEP/overseas) they can very well drop the 'Sir' thing and call me by name. I feel that it makes the whole thing work better because the line between the officer and the NCOs/men is dropped, so they feel that you're one of them also...i don't know if it's going to work though so...mal schauen...
And today. I basically did nothing until the afternoon, when i attended the co-ordination meeting for an upcoming Artillery visit. Goodness...the co-ordination required! Then i escaped early to go for my Basic Theory test...so easy i think it's impossible to fail, i just hope that i don't fail...carelessness can rear its ugly head...anytime...after which i went to eat because i thought i was supposed to meet someone at 2000. I waited until 2045, made a few phone calls, and everything, until she called to say she was at the Esplanade. What the fish...i was quite pissed because i felt like an idiot...but maybe she clean forgot, and i guess that if that person is worth your waiting 45 minutes, then i guess...it's worth it because you only get to see this person once or twice a year, but then...sigh. i still feel dumb. no one likes to stand and wait for ages only for nothing, i guess...
Never mind ba. Weekend's here! What shall i do? I want to buy shoes which i can go out in, maybe running shoes (i'll worry about those later) and glasses...did i tell you guys that i intend to learn how to make cocktails? Be an informal bartender? As in...knowing the techniques and recipes, but without the flair and showmanship of a true bartender...it's an art in itself i guess...wish me luck then!
posted by quatscherei @ 22:48
0 comments
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Screwdrivers and Monkey Wrenches... | The Night Sky
Have you all looked at the night sky and wondered at those little distant points of light against the velvet night? It's a pity that in most parts of Singapore, the high density of streetlamps and traffic both conspire to produce this phenomenon called light pollution...
light pollution (n.): A phenomenon whereby high ambient light causes stars in the night sky to become relatively fainter and difficult to discern. Frustrates amateur astronomers and stargazers.
But anyway, Orion is always very prominent in the night sky, look for his belt surrounded by the trapezium...a close, straight line of 3 stars...supposedly, according to melvyn's thai driver during BATTLE KING, you can trace a line Northwards when you use Orion's Belt...but as to the veracity of that claim...is yet to be proven true or false...
It's a very different issue in CRESCENDO or WALLABY or elsewhere where it's more rural; in fact, it's very different already in quiet areas like Murai or Pasir Laba as we deployed there at night during SAFARI. There are actually a lot of stars; the night sky never seemed so cluttered in Singapore! And i didn't believe it until i went to the gun deployment ground and saw it for my own eyes. Beautiful. Like random diamonds sprinkled across a black velvet cushion. Maybe i should get a telescope and observe stars for their colours and all that. I've read that the Jewel Box, an open star cluster located in Crux, the Southern Cross, is a magnificent collection of young, hot stars with a bright red star in the middle known as ? Crucis...sigh...such absolute beauty, if we'd only had the opportunity to stop, look and marvel.
Anyway...today i have one (or two) recipes for you...i'm sure most of you have heard of a screwdriver...have you heard of a monkey wrench?
Screwdriver
1 part vodka
4 parts orange juice
build and stir over ice
A monkey wrench, in comparison, is similiar to a screwdriver, but replace vodka with rum and orange juice with grapefruit juice. If you don't like grapefruit because of its inherent bitterness, well...the rum does help to mellow the bitterness a little, although it's still something to contend with. Enjoy!
Have you all looked at the night sky and wondered at those little distant points of light against the velvet night? It's a pity that in most parts of Singapore, the high density of streetlamps and traffic both conspire to produce this phenomenon called light pollution...
light pollution (n.): A phenomenon whereby high ambient light causes stars in the night sky to become relatively fainter and difficult to discern. Frustrates amateur astronomers and stargazers.
But anyway, Orion is always very prominent in the night sky, look for his belt surrounded by the trapezium...a close, straight line of 3 stars...supposedly, according to melvyn's thai driver during BATTLE KING, you can trace a line Northwards when you use Orion's Belt...but as to the veracity of that claim...is yet to be proven true or false...
It's a very different issue in CRESCENDO or WALLABY or elsewhere where it's more rural; in fact, it's very different already in quiet areas like Murai or Pasir Laba as we deployed there at night during SAFARI. There are actually a lot of stars; the night sky never seemed so cluttered in Singapore! And i didn't believe it until i went to the gun deployment ground and saw it for my own eyes. Beautiful. Like random diamonds sprinkled across a black velvet cushion. Maybe i should get a telescope and observe stars for their colours and all that. I've read that the Jewel Box, an open star cluster located in Crux, the Southern Cross, is a magnificent collection of young, hot stars with a bright red star in the middle known as ? Crucis...sigh...such absolute beauty, if we'd only had the opportunity to stop, look and marvel.
Anyway...today i have one (or two) recipes for you...i'm sure most of you have heard of a screwdriver...have you heard of a monkey wrench?
Screwdriver
1 part vodka
4 parts orange juice
build and stir over ice
A monkey wrench, in comparison, is similiar to a screwdriver, but replace vodka with rum and orange juice with grapefruit juice. If you don't like grapefruit because of its inherent bitterness, well...the rum does help to mellow the bitterness a little, although it's still something to contend with. Enjoy!
posted by quatscherei @ 23:59
0 comments
All Fucked Up | Kindheit? Was noch mal bitte? | Vorbereitung auf das kommende Radar-Kurs
Sometimes i wonder at my amazing capability to fuck myself up altogether. Sigh. Jie's mad at me, because i said something very inappropraite just now...i'm sorry...i don't know why i did that, but...i guess...things which are meant earnestly are sometimes jarring to the ears...i didn't intend it in the manner you thought...but i guess it can be very insulting...like how i will probably beat up someone who insults my rank, leadership and maturity...so i guess...i hit way, way below the belt...i'm so sorry...but it's true that i think that way sometimes...oh well. Like you said, too bad for me. I suppose.
And why did i fuck myself up further? It just dawned on me that as a young child i had almost no childhood whatsoever to speak of. I was just an introverted quiet child who'd rather lose himself in a book than go out and play, who'd keep to himself rather than greet people with a smile. Who never really smiled. And i guess that carried on into secondary school...which i came to hate as a repressive place where i lived in fear of committing mistakes, and ultimately became one who desired nothing but time for himself, who shied away from classmates...i guess i only broke the mold in JC, evolving into a high-profile, outspoken, sometimes foolish and rude, having no fears, albeit being quite immature...and it was only in OCS that i changed into the person who would shake your hand upon introduction, send ladies home after a date (it's only proper), be able to step into a ballroom confidently without messing up, knowing the appropraite decorum and behaviour for the occasion, and who began to give a fuck for what other people thought and really began to pay attention. It's not that i didn't accord people their attention in the past - i considered myself a good listener, and i still would like to think myself one - but i never really cared about what people felt about what i did. I just did things because i felt that it matched my profile in school. Which wasn't very healthy, on hindsight. But i guess i didn't care then. Now, things matter. It's a reason why i'm not so given to acting on the moment anymore - because i think now that being rash and happy-go-lucky may have quite ugly outcomes.
Let's stop digressing from the main topic...and i suppose you should be quite tired of all the ugliness of my 20 years of existence up to now. What's wrong?
1. I can't play football/basketball/most games properly for nuts because i never had the exposure to. After a traumatic incident today, it dawned on me again...
2. I don't smile even if i'm in a neutral mood. No wonder people say i look very fierce (and sometimes i scare myself too...)
3. There's still a slightly introverted side to myself at times.
4. I wish that i could play a musical instrument, but i can't. Never was interested...until i came to appreciate music more...(soll ich die Mandoline lernen?)
5. Schlechtes Gewissen beim Nachdenken und Wiederholen!
Sigh.
The trade course is beginning soon...and me and melvyn have actually begun to study again...surprise, surprise! we've been studying our manuals again, so that at least we won't put ourselves to shame when we teach the locators...they're JC batch, our direct juniors...which should make them a pretty studious and hardworking, albeit easily-bullied and fearful of authority, bunch...i hope the new privates are good. We'll need these locators for FATEP and the overseas exercises.
Meanwhile, more sai kang begins to pile up around us and so...i guess...it's time for the training tempo to go up again...
'Party's over!'
Sometimes i wonder at my amazing capability to fuck myself up altogether. Sigh. Jie's mad at me, because i said something very inappropraite just now...i'm sorry...i don't know why i did that, but...i guess...things which are meant earnestly are sometimes jarring to the ears...i didn't intend it in the manner you thought...but i guess it can be very insulting...like how i will probably beat up someone who insults my rank, leadership and maturity...so i guess...i hit way, way below the belt...i'm so sorry...but it's true that i think that way sometimes...oh well. Like you said, too bad for me. I suppose.
And why did i fuck myself up further? It just dawned on me that as a young child i had almost no childhood whatsoever to speak of. I was just an introverted quiet child who'd rather lose himself in a book than go out and play, who'd keep to himself rather than greet people with a smile. Who never really smiled. And i guess that carried on into secondary school...which i came to hate as a repressive place where i lived in fear of committing mistakes, and ultimately became one who desired nothing but time for himself, who shied away from classmates...i guess i only broke the mold in JC, evolving into a high-profile, outspoken, sometimes foolish and rude, having no fears, albeit being quite immature...and it was only in OCS that i changed into the person who would shake your hand upon introduction, send ladies home after a date (it's only proper), be able to step into a ballroom confidently without messing up, knowing the appropraite decorum and behaviour for the occasion, and who began to give a fuck for what other people thought and really began to pay attention. It's not that i didn't accord people their attention in the past - i considered myself a good listener, and i still would like to think myself one - but i never really cared about what people felt about what i did. I just did things because i felt that it matched my profile in school. Which wasn't very healthy, on hindsight. But i guess i didn't care then. Now, things matter. It's a reason why i'm not so given to acting on the moment anymore - because i think now that being rash and happy-go-lucky may have quite ugly outcomes.
Let's stop digressing from the main topic...and i suppose you should be quite tired of all the ugliness of my 20 years of existence up to now. What's wrong?
1. I can't play football/basketball/most games properly for nuts because i never had the exposure to. After a traumatic incident today, it dawned on me again...
2. I don't smile even if i'm in a neutral mood. No wonder people say i look very fierce (and sometimes i scare myself too...)
3. There's still a slightly introverted side to myself at times.
4. I wish that i could play a musical instrument, but i can't. Never was interested...until i came to appreciate music more...(soll ich die Mandoline lernen?)
5. Schlechtes Gewissen beim Nachdenken und Wiederholen!
Sigh.
The trade course is beginning soon...and me and melvyn have actually begun to study again...surprise, surprise! we've been studying our manuals again, so that at least we won't put ourselves to shame when we teach the locators...they're JC batch, our direct juniors...which should make them a pretty studious and hardworking, albeit easily-bullied and fearful of authority, bunch...i hope the new privates are good. We'll need these locators for FATEP and the overseas exercises.
Meanwhile, more sai kang begins to pile up around us and so...i guess...it's time for the training tempo to go up again...
'Party's over!'
posted by quatscherei @ 21:24
0 comments
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Dankbar für kleine Dingen zu sein...
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...on the car ride back home from my maternal grandmother's side today, my mom commented on how my mentally handicapped sister (surprise, surprise, i bet most of you didn't know that!) has been improving and improving. How she now brushes her feet before wearing her shoes. Or how she can go up to my brother and tap him when she wants to go downstairs but not alone.
I guess that in all my bustling all around and lamenting about how busy i was, or how my boss kept giving work to us, or all the trials and tribulations between me and her, every zenith and every nadir, i kinda neglected my family. It's not that i treat them as non-existent...quite, on the contrary...i do make it a point to spend time at home, spend time with my family, watching TV oder was sonst. But, i never really sat down and paid attention to what's been changing at home. When i spoke of appreciating the little things in life, i could marvel at the weather, marvel at what a beautiful day it was, but i didn't marvel at the place in my life where the most wonders unfold - home.
Sigh. I only acknowledged, but never appreciated it every time my sister tapped my shoulder as she walked into my parents' room, or how she laughed bubbly whenever i carried her. Or how she would take my hand when we went up the stairs. Or how sometimes she'd take my dirty clothes and chuck them in the laundry basket.
I guess one has to learn how to be thankful for each and every little thing in life...to open their eyes and look...everywhere...at home...outside...and...appreciate every little thing which happens.
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...on the car ride back home from my maternal grandmother's side today, my mom commented on how my mentally handicapped sister (surprise, surprise, i bet most of you didn't know that!) has been improving and improving. How she now brushes her feet before wearing her shoes. Or how she can go up to my brother and tap him when she wants to go downstairs but not alone.
I guess that in all my bustling all around and lamenting about how busy i was, or how my boss kept giving work to us, or all the trials and tribulations between me and her, every zenith and every nadir, i kinda neglected my family. It's not that i treat them as non-existent...quite, on the contrary...i do make it a point to spend time at home, spend time with my family, watching TV oder was sonst. But, i never really sat down and paid attention to what's been changing at home. When i spoke of appreciating the little things in life, i could marvel at the weather, marvel at what a beautiful day it was, but i didn't marvel at the place in my life where the most wonders unfold - home.
Sigh. I only acknowledged, but never appreciated it every time my sister tapped my shoulder as she walked into my parents' room, or how she laughed bubbly whenever i carried her. Or how she would take my hand when we went up the stairs. Or how sometimes she'd take my dirty clothes and chuck them in the laundry basket.
I guess one has to learn how to be thankful for each and every little thing in life...to open their eyes and look...everywhere...at home...outside...and...appreciate every little thing which happens.
posted by quatscherei @ 13:46
0 comments
BATTLEKING: The day when the radar deployment ground got invaded by...cattle?!
posted by quatscherei @ 00:00
0 comments
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Full Moon | Die Zeit und deine Freunden heilen alle Wunden
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...i woke up to a, well...normal, if not early, start this morning...i was up and about at 0630!! Can you believe that? Well, actually my brother had to go to school early...so i got up early so i could breakfast with me poppa too...and then i went home, rested, wrote something in chinese which i can't put up here, and then went out to town with kah yee. I wonder why i was so perky in front of her. Shouldn't i be dragging my ragged old ass behind me? I don't want kah yee to worry over me...hehe...you've got much more things to worry about, sweets...i also gave her my copy of Corellis Mandoline...will get another myself soon because...well...i still want to re-read it! There are some moments of magic which are worthy of reliving again and again.
Okay...not to digress any further, we went to the IT fair today! I had my eyes set on a digital camera from Olympus, i think it was the i:robe something, but then i discovered that it's just highly overrated and i've set my sights somewhere else...ended up not buying anything today, in spite of all the promotions, because of that huge jostling crowd...made a date to go hunting for cameras next weekend. Jie ah...i'll meet you next fri can? hehe...my basic theory shouldn't end very late...in fact...i should be out by around 7 plus? so yup.
Today's observation: No matter how grieviously one is wounded, over time, the wounds begin to knit together and heal. Scars left behind are just a reminder of what's transpired. Das beste Heilmittel für alle Wunden heisst Zeit.
Have you seen the rejuvenation process of wounds healing? Miraculously, the open wound closes and the tissues begin to knit together...slowly, but gradually. Soon, you are good to go again, maybe a little wiser, maybe a tad more cautious, but ready nonetheless. *sigh*...i guess i decided to stop wallowing in self-pity and get up and do something.
I guess that over time, what i'll write about her will gradually diminish until the blog entries become yet another series of monotonous updates on the mundane happenings of my uninteresting life...she still remains in the recesses of my heart...no matter what...and i'm not going to try and purge her.
Oh...recipe time!
Full Moon
4cl Cointreau
2cl grapefruit juice
6cl tonic
Uh...enjoy...i mixed a 1:1 ratio of Cointreau and grapefruit juice, then topped up with tonic...the resulting mixture tasted...really tonic-ky? Bleah. i don't want to kill myself yet mah. But...i don't think it should be too bad if you follow the instructions. The sweetness of the Cointreau should cover the tonic and the grapefruit juice adds a dash of that bitter-sour zest to the entire drink...well. maybe i'll try next time. When tonic doesn't come in cans of 330ml.
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...i woke up to a, well...normal, if not early, start this morning...i was up and about at 0630!! Can you believe that? Well, actually my brother had to go to school early...so i got up early so i could breakfast with me poppa too...and then i went home, rested, wrote something in chinese which i can't put up here, and then went out to town with kah yee. I wonder why i was so perky in front of her. Shouldn't i be dragging my ragged old ass behind me? I don't want kah yee to worry over me...hehe...you've got much more things to worry about, sweets...i also gave her my copy of Corellis Mandoline...will get another myself soon because...well...i still want to re-read it! There are some moments of magic which are worthy of reliving again and again.
Okay...not to digress any further, we went to the IT fair today! I had my eyes set on a digital camera from Olympus, i think it was the i:robe something, but then i discovered that it's just highly overrated and i've set my sights somewhere else...ended up not buying anything today, in spite of all the promotions, because of that huge jostling crowd...made a date to go hunting for cameras next weekend. Jie ah...i'll meet you next fri can? hehe...my basic theory shouldn't end very late...in fact...i should be out by around 7 plus? so yup.
Today's observation: No matter how grieviously one is wounded, over time, the wounds begin to knit together and heal. Scars left behind are just a reminder of what's transpired. Das beste Heilmittel für alle Wunden heisst Zeit.
Have you seen the rejuvenation process of wounds healing? Miraculously, the open wound closes and the tissues begin to knit together...slowly, but gradually. Soon, you are good to go again, maybe a little wiser, maybe a tad more cautious, but ready nonetheless. *sigh*...i guess i decided to stop wallowing in self-pity and get up and do something.
I guess that over time, what i'll write about her will gradually diminish until the blog entries become yet another series of monotonous updates on the mundane happenings of my uninteresting life...she still remains in the recesses of my heart...no matter what...and i'm not going to try and purge her.
Oh...recipe time!
Full Moon
4cl Cointreau
2cl grapefruit juice
6cl tonic
Uh...enjoy...i mixed a 1:1 ratio of Cointreau and grapefruit juice, then topped up with tonic...the resulting mixture tasted...really tonic-ky? Bleah. i don't want to kill myself yet mah. But...i don't think it should be too bad if you follow the instructions. The sweetness of the Cointreau should cover the tonic and the grapefruit juice adds a dash of that bitter-sour zest to the entire drink...well. maybe i'll try next time. When tonic doesn't come in cans of 330ml.
posted by quatscherei @ 23:05
0 comments
Friday, March 11, 2005
Ich schreibe mir einen Brief (The Self-Addressed Letter)
Du! Ja...du...frag dich selbst, was schon stattgefunden ist. Don't you see? Was bleibt mir noch übrig? Did you hear the sound of something shattering as your crystal fortress took blow after blow...how the crystal façades cracked and shattered...someone grabbed that little beautiful crystal fortress and dashed it brutally to the floor...but i guess...one will have to learn to pick up the shards carefully and cherish them one by one...it will take lots of care and nurturing, but will you ever be able to piece back that fortress?
I always suspected, but never believed the power of those words. I thought that they were wildly overrated and overused in TV serials.
'normale Freunden bleiben...'
Und wie hast du reagiert? Eine schnelle Gutenacht, schnell aufgelegt, die Lichte schnell ausgemacht, dich ins Bett gelegt. Luckily you went for a gym workout today...which sent you into the Dreamtime much faster...you fell asleep thinking...hey...if she'd be happier...maybe i should disappear...and treat this as one long dream? Then it hit me.
I couldn't. Ich bereue nicht, was ich für sie getan habe...nein das werde ich nie bereuen...but...will i hurt her by refusing to give up? By reminding her that there is always a close friend who waits in the shadows, that her choice will end up hurting either party? Unser Verhältnis wird nie mehr wie zuvor...Be it if we get together in the end or not. Maybe you should get out of her life...before this drags and drags...the question is, can you bring yourself to it?
Vielleicht sollst du tun, als ob du nie existiert hättest...was denn? Ein mysteriöser Abschiedsbrief? I only fear that all the bitterness will flow out of you into a pile of venomous accusations, but to intentionally hurt someone like that, especially someone so close to the heart like her...could you ever do that? I could never ever hurt any of my close friends, much less to say her...never intentionally...you have to put all that selfish pride, no matter how badly bruised, aside...
Maybe you lack the maturity of dealing with this. Maybe you're simply too weak. Maybe you are just human. She said...'solange du dich wohlfühlst...' but...her words somehow took it all away. Wohlfühlen? Hmm. She's still someone who is so close to me, one who i can tell anything and everything, but this, if i ever distanced myself from her, or intentionally avoided contact with her...what would become of us? The worst enemies? Strangers? Or friends, but friends who look at each other and are reminded of an infinite sadness and loss?
Is there still a ray of light? A glimmer of hope? I'm not a very patient person, yet hope tempered my impatience. Still, even the strongest of walls can only take so many blows...
Would she even feel your abscence? She's so so busy...lots of stuff to preoccupy herself with...to busy herself to such an extent that she herself could very well just disappear.
Why'd it all have to come to this?
There's a light in my eyes - it's too bright to see
And a pain in my heart where you would still be
Was I wrong to assume that you were waiting for me
There's a light in your eyes - did you leave that light burning for me..?
~Blessid Union of Souls - Light in your Eyes
Du! Ja...du...frag dich selbst, was schon stattgefunden ist. Don't you see? Was bleibt mir noch übrig? Did you hear the sound of something shattering as your crystal fortress took blow after blow...how the crystal façades cracked and shattered...someone grabbed that little beautiful crystal fortress and dashed it brutally to the floor...but i guess...one will have to learn to pick up the shards carefully and cherish them one by one...it will take lots of care and nurturing, but will you ever be able to piece back that fortress?
I always suspected, but never believed the power of those words. I thought that they were wildly overrated and overused in TV serials.
'normale Freunden bleiben...'
Und wie hast du reagiert? Eine schnelle Gutenacht, schnell aufgelegt, die Lichte schnell ausgemacht, dich ins Bett gelegt. Luckily you went for a gym workout today...which sent you into the Dreamtime much faster...you fell asleep thinking...hey...if she'd be happier...maybe i should disappear...and treat this as one long dream? Then it hit me.
I couldn't. Ich bereue nicht, was ich für sie getan habe...nein das werde ich nie bereuen...but...will i hurt her by refusing to give up? By reminding her that there is always a close friend who waits in the shadows, that her choice will end up hurting either party? Unser Verhältnis wird nie mehr wie zuvor...Be it if we get together in the end or not. Maybe you should get out of her life...before this drags and drags...the question is, can you bring yourself to it?
Vielleicht sollst du tun, als ob du nie existiert hättest...was denn? Ein mysteriöser Abschiedsbrief? I only fear that all the bitterness will flow out of you into a pile of venomous accusations, but to intentionally hurt someone like that, especially someone so close to the heart like her...could you ever do that? I could never ever hurt any of my close friends, much less to say her...never intentionally...you have to put all that selfish pride, no matter how badly bruised, aside...
Maybe you lack the maturity of dealing with this. Maybe you're simply too weak. Maybe you are just human. She said...'solange du dich wohlfühlst...' but...her words somehow took it all away. Wohlfühlen? Hmm. She's still someone who is so close to me, one who i can tell anything and everything, but this, if i ever distanced myself from her, or intentionally avoided contact with her...what would become of us? The worst enemies? Strangers? Or friends, but friends who look at each other and are reminded of an infinite sadness and loss?
Is there still a ray of light? A glimmer of hope? I'm not a very patient person, yet hope tempered my impatience. Still, even the strongest of walls can only take so many blows...
Would she even feel your abscence? She's so so busy...lots of stuff to preoccupy herself with...to busy herself to such an extent that she herself could very well just disappear.
Why'd it all have to come to this?
There's a light in my eyes - it's too bright to see
And a pain in my heart where you would still be
Was I wrong to assume that you were waiting for me
There's a light in your eyes - did you leave that light burning for me..?
~Blessid Union of Souls - Light in your Eyes
posted by quatscherei @ 22:19
0 comments
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
HILFE!
Sigh...My Captain Corelli's Mandolin, like some not-so-good-quality paperbacks, is beginning to fall apart! Oh man...sigh. It's such a classic novel, deserving reading and re-reading...i'm re-reading little parts of it...speaking of which...anyone wants to buy it from me 2nd hand/borrow from me? You won't regret it!
Sigh...My Captain Corelli's Mandolin, like some not-so-good-quality paperbacks, is beginning to fall apart! Oh man...sigh. It's such a classic novel, deserving reading and re-reading...i'm re-reading little parts of it...speaking of which...anyone wants to buy it from me 2nd hand/borrow from me? You won't regret it!
posted by quatscherei @ 21:06
0 comments
Magisch verschwunden... Eine Reise durch die Innenstadt Vernichtung einer Familie
Hallo ihr alle da draussend...i am at home again on a Wednesday evening because...i have another half-day off! Granted...it's eating into my off balance, but...i assure you that i think more offs are in the making as we speak...i'm down to one measly day though...probably won't take anymore off...i don't need it right now...And today, we had a heritage tour! Through the inner bowels of our city at about 9 in the morning...discovering and re-discovering places which we thought we knew, but actually never really did...and...for the first time after that fateful ball, i saw the Fullerton Hotel again. I must say...i always had the impression that it'd be a pristine white, but i guess...time and the elements are kind to no one...
Did you know:
1. There is a mosque below one of the bank skyscrapers near Boat Quay?
2. Along Waterloo street, there is a Hindu temple containing a statuette of the Goddess of Mercy, and that it is customary for Chinese to leave an offering of joss-sticks before the temple?
3. That the significance of Lady Justice's eyes being nearly closed is that she is impartial to your skin colour, status, wealth, everything but justice itself?
4. That the Cenotaph is actually a sarcophagus for the soldiers who left to fight, died and never came back? That it is an empty grave, devoid of all religious markings, so that any and all can pay respect to them?
Bet you didn't know that...surprisingly, Boat Quay and Clarke Quay are really very quiet and peaceful in the early morning...today was such a beautiful day...the Sun was already beaming in the sky, a sea breeze blew, and there we were, standing on the grey slabs of Boat Quay, looking at skyscrapers, a giant absurd-looking bird, boats sailing on the river, the Fullerton (sigh!) the green spire of that one building (is it the High Court? Or Parliament House? I think so, but blame me if i'm wrong - the Singaporean urban skyline is just so cluttered!) and all the massive skeletons of as yet unknown constructions.
Sigh...I really learnt quite a lot...especially nearing the end of the tour...but...more on that later.
I cannot bowl anymore! I only averaged a pathetic 119 today...cannot make it already. Although i discovered the end-over-end roll which make strike balls have such potent carrying potential...unlike hook balls which lose power, an end-over-end roll does nothing but drive through those pins...but...i lost my hook! I'm releasing my ball wrongly...not getting the correct release at all...which results in pathetic scores...sigh...feel so poor at bowling all of a sudden. Feel like i've failed my bowling balls. Sigh.
Over the past 2 days, i read with a sense of mounting dread and disgust at how one man and his family was discovered dead on Monday. It seems that the man had incurred gambling debts, couldn't keep the temptation of gambling at bay, and once saw his marraige on the rocks because of the debts he incurred. Apparently they got back together when he settled his debts, but now it's happened again and my guess is that...
Man is in financial deep shit. Man borrows money. Wife discovers debt. Wife and Man have big, ugly row. Man kills Wife. Man discovers what he's done and decides to end it all. Man kills kids too for unknown reasons.
Why are people so bloody fucking irresponsible?! You've read the newspaper reports about how loving the family seemed. You've read how their little girl was so loving, sensitive and intelligent. You've read how their boy was the livewire of the class, always witty and bringing laughter...they had so much potential. When will people see that dying is not going to solve any problems? Actually, it's easy for me to say now - the inconsolable never see another way...sigh...i guess this will be an enigma of the human psyche forever...when i feel strongly against is killing the kids. They knew nothing, and even if they did, certainly they had a future to live!
Then again, maybe this 'future' would be one so bleak that it wasn't worth living. The emotional scarring. Growing up all alone. Not having a childhood.
i'm sorry.
Today's observations: Just as Hindus worship the differing facets of the same god, we, too are like multifaceted gems...what are we? Brother. Soldier. Officer. Teacher. Friend. Lover. Son. That much, and so much more...
Hallo ihr alle da draussend...i am at home again on a Wednesday evening because...i have another half-day off! Granted...it's eating into my off balance, but...i assure you that i think more offs are in the making as we speak...i'm down to one measly day though...probably won't take anymore off...i don't need it right now...And today, we had a heritage tour! Through the inner bowels of our city at about 9 in the morning...discovering and re-discovering places which we thought we knew, but actually never really did...and...for the first time after that fateful ball, i saw the Fullerton Hotel again. I must say...i always had the impression that it'd be a pristine white, but i guess...time and the elements are kind to no one...
Did you know:
1. There is a mosque below one of the bank skyscrapers near Boat Quay?
2. Along Waterloo street, there is a Hindu temple containing a statuette of the Goddess of Mercy, and that it is customary for Chinese to leave an offering of joss-sticks before the temple?
3. That the significance of Lady Justice's eyes being nearly closed is that she is impartial to your skin colour, status, wealth, everything but justice itself?
4. That the Cenotaph is actually a sarcophagus for the soldiers who left to fight, died and never came back? That it is an empty grave, devoid of all religious markings, so that any and all can pay respect to them?
Bet you didn't know that...surprisingly, Boat Quay and Clarke Quay are really very quiet and peaceful in the early morning...today was such a beautiful day...the Sun was already beaming in the sky, a sea breeze blew, and there we were, standing on the grey slabs of Boat Quay, looking at skyscrapers, a giant absurd-looking bird, boats sailing on the river, the Fullerton (sigh!) the green spire of that one building (is it the High Court? Or Parliament House? I think so, but blame me if i'm wrong - the Singaporean urban skyline is just so cluttered!) and all the massive skeletons of as yet unknown constructions.
Sigh...I really learnt quite a lot...especially nearing the end of the tour...but...more on that later.
I cannot bowl anymore! I only averaged a pathetic 119 today...cannot make it already. Although i discovered the end-over-end roll which make strike balls have such potent carrying potential...unlike hook balls which lose power, an end-over-end roll does nothing but drive through those pins...but...i lost my hook! I'm releasing my ball wrongly...not getting the correct release at all...which results in pathetic scores...sigh...feel so poor at bowling all of a sudden. Feel like i've failed my bowling balls. Sigh.
Over the past 2 days, i read with a sense of mounting dread and disgust at how one man and his family was discovered dead on Monday. It seems that the man had incurred gambling debts, couldn't keep the temptation of gambling at bay, and once saw his marraige on the rocks because of the debts he incurred. Apparently they got back together when he settled his debts, but now it's happened again and my guess is that...
Man is in financial deep shit. Man borrows money. Wife discovers debt. Wife and Man have big, ugly row. Man kills Wife. Man discovers what he's done and decides to end it all. Man kills kids too for unknown reasons.
Why are people so bloody fucking irresponsible?! You've read the newspaper reports about how loving the family seemed. You've read how their little girl was so loving, sensitive and intelligent. You've read how their boy was the livewire of the class, always witty and bringing laughter...they had so much potential. When will people see that dying is not going to solve any problems? Actually, it's easy for me to say now - the inconsolable never see another way...sigh...i guess this will be an enigma of the human psyche forever...when i feel strongly against is killing the kids. They knew nothing, and even if they did, certainly they had a future to live!
Then again, maybe this 'future' would be one so bleak that it wasn't worth living. The emotional scarring. Growing up all alone. Not having a childhood.
i'm sorry.
Today's observations: Just as Hindus worship the differing facets of the same god, we, too are like multifaceted gems...what are we? Brother. Soldier. Officer. Teacher. Friend. Lover. Son. That much, and so much more...
posted by quatscherei @ 18:22
0 comments
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Ich existiere, nur zu verletzen... | Mein Chef, der Arbeitsgeber | Projekt: Äußerungen
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...sigh...i think i'm hitting another emotional trough again these days...surprise, surprise, i'm not that all-powerful and confident anymore, am i? I don't know what i've been up to these days too. Seems like i'm receding back into a shell. Sure, i still play bridge like crazy with the guys, we still talk at night about cock and still play pool at the Officers' Mess, we still like to disturb others about the girls they like, but...even though only 2 days have passed i feel myself kinda drifting away from the guys...yesterday, when they all disappeared to play badminton, i engrossed myself in my BDO duties (closing the armskote, etc) and well...when i came up, the office was totally empty. Talk about disappearing mysteriously. Okay...i won't point fingers...i mean...i'm guilty of it too even if i've been coming up pretty late these days...wells...it's simply because well...it's office hours...and...i can actually click with those dudes downstairs...making the boring work day just a tad more perky...well...the work day is actually much, much more than just talk cock, sing song...the laughter is just a bonus...or...während der Arbeit nicht aber vergessen, Spass gleichzeitig zu haben?
Anyway, i just discovered something nice. My boss isn't a slavedriver as i thought he was...although he awarded me 01 x work today because i was caught stoning in the office...ahaha...but...as he explained, you just got to give work to keep the men on their toes...i mean...the specs and men have daily maintenance tasks to carry out so...admin work is probably what keeps us officers...ticking? But that's besides the point. Although i showed him a sian look with that almost undetected hint of resignation, but deep down i was actually glad that i had some work to do. It surely beats the monotony of life without much purpose...and i must admit that i'm not that good at acting busy...or being really occupied, whichever the case may be...i shall have to polish up though when the 2I/C comes back. He's the next boss when this one goes off, and i heard that this is one mean badass. Sigh...
Oh...i'm going to BATTLE KING again! Back to CRESCENDO (although i really really want STARLIGHT...)
Today, it hit me. It seems that these days i exist sometimes only to injure or hurt people. Like how i poured everything out at poor Sam jie, or how i put even more stress on her by acting on impulse, even knowing that i very well shouldn't have, or how sometimes i really take people for granted, or how when i probe and probe and probe and reopen old wounds...sigh...sometimes i wish that i either never did all this, or that i hadn't a conscience to regret all this, or that my memory was so poor/immoral so as not to register all this. What am i doing to myself? What am i doing to others? Sigh...i will hurt and hurt and hurt again...egal, ob es mit Absicht oder aus Versehen getan worden ist...
Shat, what am i DOING?!
Anyway, I checked back at the NJC webbie and i came across this international movement (oder vielleicht soll ich sagen, Deutschlandweit) known as Projekt Tagesbilder...the aim of it is that...one records little things, little, insignificant things which one perceives each day, and through this, and through similiar daily records all over the world, build bridges and roads between different cultures...
It's a little like what Laith Al-Deen once sung in the song Kleine Helden:
'Denn heute sind wir wie kleine Helden
Und öffnen die Tür zu neuen Welten...'
Of course the content of the song is somewhat different, but the chorus is absolutely fitting...for a translation, click on the Translator...hahaha...
And so, i myself have decided to start with Äußerungen, something which works somewhat like Project Tagesbilder, but...it's not a simple observation. If not i'll start saying things like 'Neo's stubble is getting thicker. He should shave it before i pull it out with tweezers.' You get the drift. It's either an observation, a sentence, a verse, a phrase, a power statement, or even a complete piece...something which has no elements of fantasy whatsoever, although i actually may pursue in writing that particular genre, but rather, an observation of daily life, or a little something which will give us the strength to carry on. I may use anything - original or not...rest assured...there'll be credits...
And so for today, for all those who believed in me in my darkest hours...
'Für alle, deren Feuern nicht erlischt...ich hab' zu danken, denn ohne euch geht es nicht...' -Laith Al-Deen, Für Alle
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...sigh...i think i'm hitting another emotional trough again these days...surprise, surprise, i'm not that all-powerful and confident anymore, am i? I don't know what i've been up to these days too. Seems like i'm receding back into a shell. Sure, i still play bridge like crazy with the guys, we still talk at night about cock and still play pool at the Officers' Mess, we still like to disturb others about the girls they like, but...even though only 2 days have passed i feel myself kinda drifting away from the guys...yesterday, when they all disappeared to play badminton, i engrossed myself in my BDO duties (closing the armskote, etc) and well...when i came up, the office was totally empty. Talk about disappearing mysteriously. Okay...i won't point fingers...i mean...i'm guilty of it too even if i've been coming up pretty late these days...wells...it's simply because well...it's office hours...and...i can actually click with those dudes downstairs...making the boring work day just a tad more perky...well...the work day is actually much, much more than just talk cock, sing song...the laughter is just a bonus...or...während der Arbeit nicht aber vergessen, Spass gleichzeitig zu haben?
Anyway, i just discovered something nice. My boss isn't a slavedriver as i thought he was...although he awarded me 01 x work today because i was caught stoning in the office...ahaha...but...as he explained, you just got to give work to keep the men on their toes...i mean...the specs and men have daily maintenance tasks to carry out so...admin work is probably what keeps us officers...ticking? But that's besides the point. Although i showed him a sian look with that almost undetected hint of resignation, but deep down i was actually glad that i had some work to do. It surely beats the monotony of life without much purpose...and i must admit that i'm not that good at acting busy...or being really occupied, whichever the case may be...i shall have to polish up though when the 2I/C comes back. He's the next boss when this one goes off, and i heard that this is one mean badass. Sigh...
Oh...i'm going to BATTLE KING again! Back to CRESCENDO (although i really really want STARLIGHT...)
Today, it hit me. It seems that these days i exist sometimes only to injure or hurt people. Like how i poured everything out at poor Sam jie, or how i put even more stress on her by acting on impulse, even knowing that i very well shouldn't have, or how sometimes i really take people for granted, or how when i probe and probe and probe and reopen old wounds...sigh...sometimes i wish that i either never did all this, or that i hadn't a conscience to regret all this, or that my memory was so poor/immoral so as not to register all this. What am i doing to myself? What am i doing to others? Sigh...i will hurt and hurt and hurt again...egal, ob es mit Absicht oder aus Versehen getan worden ist...
Shat, what am i DOING?!
Anyway, I checked back at the NJC webbie and i came across this international movement (oder vielleicht soll ich sagen, Deutschlandweit) known as Projekt Tagesbilder...the aim of it is that...one records little things, little, insignificant things which one perceives each day, and through this, and through similiar daily records all over the world, build bridges and roads between different cultures...
It's a little like what Laith Al-Deen once sung in the song Kleine Helden:
'Denn heute sind wir wie kleine Helden
Und öffnen die Tür zu neuen Welten...'
Of course the content of the song is somewhat different, but the chorus is absolutely fitting...for a translation, click on the Translator...hahaha...
And so, i myself have decided to start with Äußerungen, something which works somewhat like Project Tagesbilder, but...it's not a simple observation. If not i'll start saying things like 'Neo's stubble is getting thicker. He should shave it before i pull it out with tweezers.' You get the drift. It's either an observation, a sentence, a verse, a phrase, a power statement, or even a complete piece...something which has no elements of fantasy whatsoever, although i actually may pursue in writing that particular genre, but rather, an observation of daily life, or a little something which will give us the strength to carry on. I may use anything - original or not...rest assured...there'll be credits...
And so for today, for all those who believed in me in my darkest hours...
'Für alle, deren Feuern nicht erlischt...ich hab' zu danken, denn ohne euch geht es nicht...' -Laith Al-Deen, Für Alle
posted by quatscherei @ 22:08
0 comments
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Eine Lekture darüber, warum das Leben wie das Wetter sein könnte: Teil 2 | Vorhersage für die kommende Woche
A continuation from just now...well...it alternated again and again between sunshine and rain today...it was as if some madman upstairs couldn't decide whether to cry or beam at us mortals...
It's an interesting analogy, isn't it? Likening my current life into that of weather, or even likening an entire lifespan to one very, very long day...Life can be as unpredictable as the weather. Certainly, it will not remain sunny all day - time comes when the dark clouds gather and the raindrops begin to fall like so many tears...has it ever seemed to you that even the heavens weep for you? Or when thunderstorms raged outside as Mother Earth unleashed only a fraction of her full wrath upon us? Has simply being under the warmth of the Sun made your day? Has ever a rainbow in the sky made you drop your work and just wonder? You can never ever tell when it will come, and you can never foresee what the clouds have to tell...life can be as unpredictable as the very weather.
Maybe i'm just being melodramatic...this kind of weather is a kinda apt way to describe myself...sunshine, rain, a rainbow which may never show itself...but...after the rain...there was always sunshine...as there always will be...and there are such endless possibilities...all the sunshine she brings and all the raindrops that we've both cried to ourselves may either form into the most dazzling rainbow, or nourish the parched soil of our beings...
Think. Appreciate the next time it begins to rain. Bask in the sunshine more often. It's therapeutic...in my opinion that is...
->fin<-
Another week of sai kang beckons...hopefully, this week, i'll get to swim, hit the gym, not sleep so much, improve at bridge, and beat the lethargy...I also passed my basic theory evaluation! Test date on the 18th March, 2004...about 12 more days of waiting...for that fateful Friday...i better pass on the first try...cannot be that cui... hopefully also i won't kena so much sai kang from all over...my Battery's 2I/C is coming back and i heard that he's not as nice as our current boss...that's quite shatty...what's worse is that he's becoming the Boss in September...i don't think i'll be particularly pleased...but by then...i hope tahan a bit more then can switch into mood already...undergo CCC (Civilian Conversion Course)...
And hopefully, i'll get to meet someone...the thing is...we end up making small talk only when we do meet...so many things that i want to say but can't bring myself to...i only dare to say it when she's not standing in front of me...sigh...okay...i shall say it...
no matter how painful it is to love someone, it is painful only if that person is cruel enough to inflict it to the extent that it really begins to hurt. I don't mind going home late. I don't mind just listening to you talk to your friends. I don't mind at all. And thankfully, you aren't (or haven't been) that cruel to me (yet?)...
What can i say? In a mixture of languages, mercì beaucoup, koritsimou...du bist meine kleine Heldin...dürfen wir füreinander kleine Helden werden?
A continuation from just now...well...it alternated again and again between sunshine and rain today...it was as if some madman upstairs couldn't decide whether to cry or beam at us mortals...
It's an interesting analogy, isn't it? Likening my current life into that of weather, or even likening an entire lifespan to one very, very long day...Life can be as unpredictable as the weather. Certainly, it will not remain sunny all day - time comes when the dark clouds gather and the raindrops begin to fall like so many tears...has it ever seemed to you that even the heavens weep for you? Or when thunderstorms raged outside as Mother Earth unleashed only a fraction of her full wrath upon us? Has simply being under the warmth of the Sun made your day? Has ever a rainbow in the sky made you drop your work and just wonder? You can never ever tell when it will come, and you can never foresee what the clouds have to tell...life can be as unpredictable as the very weather.
Maybe i'm just being melodramatic...this kind of weather is a kinda apt way to describe myself...sunshine, rain, a rainbow which may never show itself...but...after the rain...there was always sunshine...as there always will be...and there are such endless possibilities...all the sunshine she brings and all the raindrops that we've both cried to ourselves may either form into the most dazzling rainbow, or nourish the parched soil of our beings...
Think. Appreciate the next time it begins to rain. Bask in the sunshine more often. It's therapeutic...in my opinion that is...
->fin<-
Another week of sai kang beckons...hopefully, this week, i'll get to swim, hit the gym, not sleep so much, improve at bridge, and beat the lethargy...I also passed my basic theory evaluation! Test date on the 18th March, 2004...about 12 more days of waiting...for that fateful Friday...i better pass on the first try...cannot be that cui... hopefully also i won't kena so much sai kang from all over...my Battery's 2I/C is coming back and i heard that he's not as nice as our current boss...that's quite shatty...what's worse is that he's becoming the Boss in September...i don't think i'll be particularly pleased...but by then...i hope tahan a bit more then can switch into mood already...undergo CCC (Civilian Conversion Course)...
And hopefully, i'll get to meet someone...the thing is...we end up making small talk only when we do meet...so many things that i want to say but can't bring myself to...i only dare to say it when she's not standing in front of me...sigh...okay...i shall say it...
no matter how painful it is to love someone, it is painful only if that person is cruel enough to inflict it to the extent that it really begins to hurt. I don't mind going home late. I don't mind just listening to you talk to your friends. I don't mind at all. And thankfully, you aren't (or haven't been) that cruel to me (yet?)...
What can i say? In a mixture of languages, mercì beaucoup, koritsimou...du bist meine kleine Heldin...dürfen wir füreinander kleine Helden werden?
posted by quatscherei @ 17:58
0 comments
Eine Lekture darüber, warum das Leben wie das Wetter sein könnte: Teil 1
All of you living in Singapore...especially those living in my area...should really understand what i'm talking about. It's only 1100 but the skies have undergone so many changes...like how life unfolds before your eyes...I woke up to a beautiful morning. The skies were overcast and grey, but it didn't rain. Rather, the morning was fresh and bright despite the grey clouds which hung heavily. A shower of rain in the early hours came when everyone was still lost in slumber, cleansing the world of all its weariness and poison, leaving her smelling fresh and new again...
...so lass mich für immer und ewig schlafen...
The pavement and roads were wet, the grass shimmered magically a deep verdant green, and gradually the neighbourhood stirred from sleep. The grey clouds seemed to lighten that little more and a small sunray shone through a break in the clouds...a realisation hit me. Every day is a gift, a wonder to be treasured...
...könnte es immer auch so bleiben...
After breakfast, on the walk home, i looked up again. The sky was split into two: half a pure azure, half leaden with grey. In between was a border of white, a white which began tinged with blue until it finally gave way to the monochrome of grey. It was a scene so rare, a scene which i wished i'd have taken a picture of...i walked up a slope (there are painfully many in my area) and looked back. I saw tightly clustered houses and a low treeline with the heavens providing a superb backdrop...it's amazing. I walked this path for 2 years daily during JC, and yet i never paid attention...
...wär's mir irgendwann eingefallen...
I reached home. The heavens were now a deep azure, showing all its purity to the world. The Sun was a blazing gemstone in the sky, so brilliant and dazzling in its full wonder...i relaxed back in my bedroom and put on Laith Al-Deen: LIVE. Just as Bilder von Dir began, the previously clear skies began to cloud and darken...I could see the grey slowly swallow up the deep blue...swallow up that brilliant sphere of light...ironically, as Meilenweit began to play, a song about distant, distant sunny beaches, the perfect jamaican holiday...it began to rain. At first imperceptible, the rain gradually increased until the rain began to blur the outlines of things around. I looked away, back to my reading, and when i turned back...the rain had mysteriously faded away into nothingness again, leaving the world smelling of that cleanliness and purity which a shower brings...
...ist es nicht wie unser Leben?
Now? Now it is sunny again...blue skies and sunshine, with patches of white floating randomly in that deep deep blue sea we call the sky...a moment and it can turn grey again...sometimes it rains even while the sun shines...sometimes rain and shine show us something of absolute beauty and wonder, something which cause our jaded and tired souls to brighten up, laugh and believe in miracles again...an incandescent rainbow of colour...
...wann seh ich meine Regenbogen?
Isn't the weather like life? I'll explain later.
All of you living in Singapore...especially those living in my area...should really understand what i'm talking about. It's only 1100 but the skies have undergone so many changes...like how life unfolds before your eyes...I woke up to a beautiful morning. The skies were overcast and grey, but it didn't rain. Rather, the morning was fresh and bright despite the grey clouds which hung heavily. A shower of rain in the early hours came when everyone was still lost in slumber, cleansing the world of all its weariness and poison, leaving her smelling fresh and new again...
...so lass mich für immer und ewig schlafen...
The pavement and roads were wet, the grass shimmered magically a deep verdant green, and gradually the neighbourhood stirred from sleep. The grey clouds seemed to lighten that little more and a small sunray shone through a break in the clouds...a realisation hit me. Every day is a gift, a wonder to be treasured...
...könnte es immer auch so bleiben...
After breakfast, on the walk home, i looked up again. The sky was split into two: half a pure azure, half leaden with grey. In between was a border of white, a white which began tinged with blue until it finally gave way to the monochrome of grey. It was a scene so rare, a scene which i wished i'd have taken a picture of...i walked up a slope (there are painfully many in my area) and looked back. I saw tightly clustered houses and a low treeline with the heavens providing a superb backdrop...it's amazing. I walked this path for 2 years daily during JC, and yet i never paid attention...
...wär's mir irgendwann eingefallen...
I reached home. The heavens were now a deep azure, showing all its purity to the world. The Sun was a blazing gemstone in the sky, so brilliant and dazzling in its full wonder...i relaxed back in my bedroom and put on Laith Al-Deen: LIVE. Just as Bilder von Dir began, the previously clear skies began to cloud and darken...I could see the grey slowly swallow up the deep blue...swallow up that brilliant sphere of light...ironically, as Meilenweit began to play, a song about distant, distant sunny beaches, the perfect jamaican holiday...it began to rain. At first imperceptible, the rain gradually increased until the rain began to blur the outlines of things around. I looked away, back to my reading, and when i turned back...the rain had mysteriously faded away into nothingness again, leaving the world smelling of that cleanliness and purity which a shower brings...
...ist es nicht wie unser Leben?
Now? Now it is sunny again...blue skies and sunshine, with patches of white floating randomly in that deep deep blue sea we call the sky...a moment and it can turn grey again...sometimes it rains even while the sun shines...sometimes rain and shine show us something of absolute beauty and wonder, something which cause our jaded and tired souls to brighten up, laugh and believe in miracles again...an incandescent rainbow of colour...
...wann seh ich meine Regenbogen?
Isn't the weather like life? I'll explain later.
posted by quatscherei @ 10:57
0 comments
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Aufwachen? Ich will's nicht... | Was heisst Leben?
Hallo ihr alle...eine Frage...should i wake up and smell the coffee? I really don't want to...sometimes i wish that i could continue living the dream...i suppose that i will live the dream as long as i can...until the cruel hammer of reality shatters the illusion...and i'm left picking up the pieces...i wonder if this process is hardening my heart, turning it gradually into a crystal with an adamantine lustre...only to have it shatter into glass shards and little motes of a pure, warm white light...i wonder if by then, i will pick them up shard by shard and cherish them in my being, or i will just grab a dustpan and unceremoniously sweep it all away...
Come to think of it...she's already brewing something strong...it's already wafting into my Dreamtime...
Caught Hitch today...it's not bad...it's not just a comedy...it's a celebration of life. As the good doctor put it himself...
'Life is not how many breaths you take. Life is every moment which takes your breath away...'
And that's very true, indeed...what will you remember when you're old? What stories will you tell your grandchildren?
The first time you passed SOC. Your first kiss. Piazza San Marco in Venice. Your very first play. An unforgettable date. Chromed bayonets and Number 1. A motorcycle rally through Berlin, with each bike carrying a teddy bear. A grizzled old man teaching his grandson to play football in Venice. The very first time you fired your M16 down-range. Your first view overlooking Haiterbach. Peak caps in the dusk sky. Radar deployment in CRESCENDO. A child reaching for your finger with an outstretched hand. A quadriplegic flying back to the seas of his youth. Angry boaters blocking the Canale Grande to protest against the government. The hallowed monuments of the Jewish Museum. U- und S-Bahnhof Zoologischer Garten. A wall marked with polar opposites near the Hackische Markt. 'Milch und Hönig weit weit weg genommen.' Bowling your high game. Children waving as you drive through their village in a Land Rover. A box of gelato, shared between 7 friends in Venice. A herd of cattle invading your radar deployment ground. Waking up to church bells in a homely little hotel. Little marvels which manage to show that every day is a wonder...
That much, and so much more...THAT, my friends, is life. Not a mundane daily existence...but what you will cherish, what you will remember, a permanently opened window into another world.
Hallo ihr alle...eine Frage...should i wake up and smell the coffee? I really don't want to...sometimes i wish that i could continue living the dream...i suppose that i will live the dream as long as i can...until the cruel hammer of reality shatters the illusion...and i'm left picking up the pieces...i wonder if this process is hardening my heart, turning it gradually into a crystal with an adamantine lustre...only to have it shatter into glass shards and little motes of a pure, warm white light...i wonder if by then, i will pick them up shard by shard and cherish them in my being, or i will just grab a dustpan and unceremoniously sweep it all away...
Come to think of it...she's already brewing something strong...it's already wafting into my Dreamtime...
Caught Hitch today...it's not bad...it's not just a comedy...it's a celebration of life. As the good doctor put it himself...
'Life is not how many breaths you take. Life is every moment which takes your breath away...'
And that's very true, indeed...what will you remember when you're old? What stories will you tell your grandchildren?
The first time you passed SOC. Your first kiss. Piazza San Marco in Venice. Your very first play. An unforgettable date. Chromed bayonets and Number 1. A motorcycle rally through Berlin, with each bike carrying a teddy bear. A grizzled old man teaching his grandson to play football in Venice. The very first time you fired your M16 down-range. Your first view overlooking Haiterbach. Peak caps in the dusk sky. Radar deployment in CRESCENDO. A child reaching for your finger with an outstretched hand. A quadriplegic flying back to the seas of his youth. Angry boaters blocking the Canale Grande to protest against the government. The hallowed monuments of the Jewish Museum. U- und S-Bahnhof Zoologischer Garten. A wall marked with polar opposites near the Hackische Markt. 'Milch und Hönig weit weit weg genommen.' Bowling your high game. Children waving as you drive through their village in a Land Rover. A box of gelato, shared between 7 friends in Venice. A herd of cattle invading your radar deployment ground. Waking up to church bells in a homely little hotel. Little marvels which manage to show that every day is a wonder...
That much, and so much more...THAT, my friends, is life. Not a mundane daily existence...but what you will cherish, what you will remember, a permanently opened window into another world.
posted by quatscherei @ 23:58
0 comments
Durcheinandersein | Mehr tun | Félicitations...
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...with what's happening this week...i think officers are commissioned to do nothing but office work. (hence, officers...) But it's really quite dumb because...suddenly, i actually miss grabbing my trusty M16, SBO and helmet and just go outfield. Sigh. I actually miss cadet time. To be able to go outfield and just deploy my radar. I guess that time will be coming soon...when the trade course begins with those new boys from BMT...fresh blood, huh? If not...we've just been doing nothing but office admin this week...my pen has been much more well-used than my entire cadet phase...anyway...i've been working on an injury report...and well...there's a lot more to officership than it seemed to us poor cadets. Having to call a man back to camp even though he was on post-op leave, just so that i could interview him. Actually, i'm quite (or let's say, very) informal now with the men because they're all going to ORD in June...so...they're way more senior than me...And some of them even trained us during BTACC...so...i talk a lot of cock with them...i suppose it's good to bond with them...although i wonder if it's too much, as melvyn told me...but oh well, lassen wir das...
Anyway...congratulations, yuru! Haha...it's really good that all worked out with your Queen of Hearts...Even jun agrees that you two match...win her over, King of Hearts...just hope someone doesn't trump it away...ok ok relak...but...jiayou wor...
Me? Sometimes i am bewildered by how confused i feel after i'm out with her. All's dandy when she's around, when she talks, smiles, frowns or closes her eyes to grab that little rest...after that? Confusion. About the signals she sends me, about what i feel...I can't tell if she likes me deep down and is just hiding it, if she just pities me as someone without a social circle outside of reuben and kelvin, if she just sees me as a misguided friend, if her '6th sense' really is accurate, if this is going to go anywhere at all, if i should grab her hand, if i will ever see her free, if she will ever trust herself to trust me, if i will ever be worthy of that trust, if i will ever be able to bring her away from the blinding lights of the city and show her the stars, if she will ever appreciate how she's made me a better person, if i will ever be like her and show such pure unrequited concern for friends and those around her, if, if, if...
So many 'what if?"s...i will walk down this road til the end, even if the end is could be anything from a brick wall to a stinking morass to a brilliant rainbow of colour.
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...with what's happening this week...i think officers are commissioned to do nothing but office work. (hence, officers...) But it's really quite dumb because...suddenly, i actually miss grabbing my trusty M16, SBO and helmet and just go outfield. Sigh. I actually miss cadet time. To be able to go outfield and just deploy my radar. I guess that time will be coming soon...when the trade course begins with those new boys from BMT...fresh blood, huh? If not...we've just been doing nothing but office admin this week...my pen has been much more well-used than my entire cadet phase...anyway...i've been working on an injury report...and well...there's a lot more to officership than it seemed to us poor cadets. Having to call a man back to camp even though he was on post-op leave, just so that i could interview him. Actually, i'm quite (or let's say, very) informal now with the men because they're all going to ORD in June...so...they're way more senior than me...And some of them even trained us during BTACC...so...i talk a lot of cock with them...i suppose it's good to bond with them...although i wonder if it's too much, as melvyn told me...but oh well, lassen wir das...
Anyway...congratulations, yuru! Haha...it's really good that all worked out with your Queen of Hearts...Even jun agrees that you two match...win her over, King of Hearts...just hope someone doesn't trump it away...ok ok relak...but...jiayou wor...
Me? Sometimes i am bewildered by how confused i feel after i'm out with her. All's dandy when she's around, when she talks, smiles, frowns or closes her eyes to grab that little rest...after that? Confusion. About the signals she sends me, about what i feel...I can't tell if she likes me deep down and is just hiding it, if she just pities me as someone without a social circle outside of reuben and kelvin, if she just sees me as a misguided friend, if her '6th sense' really is accurate, if this is going to go anywhere at all, if i should grab her hand, if i will ever see her free, if she will ever trust herself to trust me, if i will ever be worthy of that trust, if i will ever be able to bring her away from the blinding lights of the city and show her the stars, if she will ever appreciate how she's made me a better person, if i will ever be like her and show such pure unrequited concern for friends and those around her, if, if, if...
So many 'what if?"s...i will walk down this road til the end, even if the end is could be anything from a brick wall to a stinking morass to a brilliant rainbow of colour.
posted by quatscherei @ 00:38
0 comments
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Die Bowling-Tournee | Vernachlässige ich meine Freunden wegen ihr? | Schwarze Sonne
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...wie geht's euch? Heute war ich bei einer Bowling-Tournee...na ja hab ich mitgemacht...sigh...i only got tenth placing (Johnny got first lor) in a 3-game series: 150, 124, 157. I admit that i screwed up during game 2...only began to pick up in the last 3 frames and played decently throughout the next game overall...it seems that i can actually get the Ace to react snappily and with a good reaction...(like John put it, your ball is reacting correctly what!...) so yes...i will be training up on it and hopefully i'll get an even better reaction out of the red, green, and blue soon...and well there were a lot of pros playing...i kid you not...my pair of lanes was the pro lane lor...5 out of the 6 bowlers had their own balls...but amazingly all of them are spinners, leaving only yours truly and john to hook...which was beneficial considering that if all hook there'll be many many oil tracks all over...probably with atrocious amounts of carrydown...
My line was small. Didn't dare to open the lines because i didn't believe myself that the ball'd come back...y'know...hook back into the pocket like John's Phenom Unleashed...cannot say anything but one word...PRO sia! hahaha...But today i got more or less a smooth arc into the pocket...no wicked snaps or anything crazy like that...ich glaube, so etwas könnte ich nie ertragen ja...
Anyway...she told me something some days back...she told me that i should worry about other pple in my life and not so much about her...do you all out there think that i'm neglecting (gasp!) you? Sorry la huh...i don't take the habit of not spending time on people who are important and close to me...even more so yourself...ya...so let's leave it at that k? =) Sometimes, i can lie back and be simply happy thinking of you...thinking of your smile...ya...it's like tt...haha...everyone tells me to be more affirmative, be more active...but i'm just slacking away...i guess you wanted the space...the kong1 jian1...so ya...i'll respect your requests...
Did you all know that sometimes at night i think of my friends smiling? It's one of the last things i see before slumber snatches me...it's true! Maybe it's reflective of how lonely i really am hahaha...
I'm sitting here in front of my terminal drinking a Black Sun...what's a Black Sun? 40ml Cointreau, 20ml rum, top up with Coke...thanks to the Cointreau website...It's like Rum and Coke without the strongness of rum, just a hint of rum, with a dash of the orangey fragrance of Cointreau...try it! I'm satisfied. mmm-hmmm...
Black Sun is also the topic of a new piece...something which i just thought up...
Once, in a thousand ages
As predicted by the sages
The Black Sun rises from the West
As the dark heralds the Night's one fest
On the dawn of this dreaded day
Fear shall rule and laughter fades
Fear the black of the Eternal Night
A blackness which shall rob all sight...
The world is empty; not even a bird sings
Wind sweeps through the empty streets
The Black Sun upon his throne high above
Black armour over a heart of hidden love
'Everywhere is empty - all the feelings are gone
Neither children nor laughter - i am all alone
What is happening - do they not know?
My armour is black but my body wrought of gold...'
The Black Sun sets in the hills of the East
Through the night begins a neverending feast
He is loved only when he is gone
No one remembers when he last shone...
Hallo ihr alle da draussen...wie geht's euch? Heute war ich bei einer Bowling-Tournee...na ja hab ich mitgemacht...sigh...i only got tenth placing (Johnny got first lor) in a 3-game series: 150, 124, 157. I admit that i screwed up during game 2...only began to pick up in the last 3 frames and played decently throughout the next game overall...it seems that i can actually get the Ace to react snappily and with a good reaction...(like John put it, your ball is reacting correctly what!...) so yes...i will be training up on it and hopefully i'll get an even better reaction out of the red, green, and blue soon...and well there were a lot of pros playing...i kid you not...my pair of lanes was the pro lane lor...5 out of the 6 bowlers had their own balls...but amazingly all of them are spinners, leaving only yours truly and john to hook...which was beneficial considering that if all hook there'll be many many oil tracks all over...probably with atrocious amounts of carrydown...
My line was small. Didn't dare to open the lines because i didn't believe myself that the ball'd come back...y'know...hook back into the pocket like John's Phenom Unleashed...cannot say anything but one word...PRO sia! hahaha...But today i got more or less a smooth arc into the pocket...no wicked snaps or anything crazy like that...ich glaube, so etwas könnte ich nie ertragen ja...
Anyway...she told me something some days back...she told me that i should worry about other pple in my life and not so much about her...do you all out there think that i'm neglecting (gasp!) you? Sorry la huh...i don't take the habit of not spending time on people who are important and close to me...even more so yourself...ya...so let's leave it at that k? =) Sometimes, i can lie back and be simply happy thinking of you...thinking of your smile...ya...it's like tt...haha...everyone tells me to be more affirmative, be more active...but i'm just slacking away...i guess you wanted the space...the kong1 jian1...so ya...i'll respect your requests...
Did you all know that sometimes at night i think of my friends smiling? It's one of the last things i see before slumber snatches me...it's true! Maybe it's reflective of how lonely i really am hahaha...
I'm sitting here in front of my terminal drinking a Black Sun...what's a Black Sun? 40ml Cointreau, 20ml rum, top up with Coke...thanks to the Cointreau website...It's like Rum and Coke without the strongness of rum, just a hint of rum, with a dash of the orangey fragrance of Cointreau...try it! I'm satisfied. mmm-hmmm...
Black Sun is also the topic of a new piece...something which i just thought up...
Once, in a thousand ages
As predicted by the sages
The Black Sun rises from the West
As the dark heralds the Night's one fest
On the dawn of this dreaded day
Fear shall rule and laughter fades
Fear the black of the Eternal Night
A blackness which shall rob all sight...
The world is empty; not even a bird sings
Wind sweeps through the empty streets
The Black Sun upon his throne high above
Black armour over a heart of hidden love
'Everywhere is empty - all the feelings are gone
Neither children nor laughter - i am all alone
What is happening - do they not know?
My armour is black but my body wrought of gold...'
The Black Sun sets in the hills of the East
Through the night begins a neverending feast
He is loved only when he is gone
No one remembers when he last shone...
posted by quatscherei @ 21:16
0 comments
Breathe. Smile. Cry. Run. Fly. Laugh. Love. Loss. Anger. Wonder. LIVE.
previously, on the x-men:
- Wir sind umgezogen!
- Kiasuismus und Materialismus
- The 24 SA / 33rd BTACC Tribute
- Best Friends!
- The holy man levitated for the astounded masses.
- fats' wild night out
- St. Valentine's
- Home, and being damned proud to be there
- fats.me.mel. maorified!
- Mommy...it's...it's OVER!
- Cong is my army buddy, always garang
- Emelyne my xiao mei...one and only you
- Samantha jie and the trials of uni life
- Phyllis bubbly you need to laugh more!
- Jiayi the sunshine girl who defines friendship
- Taryn whose heart is bigger than her size
- Xiu my cousin's cousin's cousin...?
- Heidi ruler of the Leper Kolonie
- Munchie: beauty queen. No shit!
- Zentenism. It's not a religion. It's a way of life.
- Ween or Princess Sarah. Not ben ben anymore
- Reuben just got happily married to a terrorist
- Jason, actually. Catch him here!
- JJ my upperstudy, 'knows no shame'-rongjun
- Ryan looks damn boi but he's a psychotherapist
- Die Leper Kolonie Population: 6
- Ken Kwan was pineappletartz
- Rongjun values(-d) brotherhood above all
- Woon: regular in the making
- Jun Kiat the garangest signaller on Earth
- Bilder...von mir
- Students' Sketchpad. Ah, the good ol' days...
- Why the Internet is bad for you
- The Translator for you non-german speakers.
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